We all want to disappear at times. But sometimes I’ve noticed that the people I care about don’t really care about me. That if someone were talking shit about me they would either join in or stay silent. I tried to explain to them how I feel, and a few tried to understand. But for the most part they just kind of shut me out. So I decided to stop talking about it. But it’s hard not to talk about the things that control your life to the people you care about because they won’t understand and because they just put up with me. I’m always the one who goes up to them, not the other way around. It’s like that quote, where I wish I could die for a day just to see who would notice. Who would care. Because right now I’m just an outsider who has to force herself on people. I’ve gotten to the extent of this that I’ve considered just shutting everyone out. It’s better to stop before you hurt them or they hurt you. Right?