I can’t shake the sadness off. It’s overwhelming. I keep trying to ignore it. To shield it. To do the things that make me “happy” but nothing is working anymore. I can’t tell people about this. I feel embarrassed. Why am I so suicidal when I’m supposed to be happy? Isn’t this what I lived for? To become my greater self? Then why hasn’t it happened? Why am I hurting all of a sudden? Why do I feel like I don’t belong in my own skin and that my thoughts don’t belong to me? I don’t feel comfortable anymore. I’m considering ending it soon. I’m going to give everyone the best of me for the last such-and-such months I decide to remain here, until I can’t handle it anymore and see death as the best choice.