I can’t keep doing this, no matter what I do, nothing makes me feel happy again. Everything I do always seems to circle back to failure, embarrassment, and the constant dread that the next day will be the same. Even my time away from the bank is filled with thoughts of everything that I have to do, the responsibilities that I was barely trained on, and the knowledge that nothing will change, no matter what I do. I’m beyond trapped and I can’t see a way out. I’m a burden to all and do not contribute to society in a meaningful way. Me continuing on is only dragging many down, and I can’t keep doing that. I am a negative impact on people, Marie was right, I should not exist.