To answer your question… I applied online for unemployment benefits and was, as I feared, denied.
It’s just time for me to go. Financial reasons and the inability to get or keep jobs is just part of it. There are many more reasons. Life has been mostly a pathetic nightmare for me and somehow keeps getting worse.
I am going to try to stick it out until March, since I don’t want my daughter and my family members to associate my death with any special dates like holidays or birthdays.
It will be tough. I may not even make it until then. I haven’t spoken to another human being (except my 2 year old daughter) since I got fired a few weeks ago. I have no friends and I’m too ashamed to tell my family. I’m going to start the process of looking for a gun to buy this weekend. Hopefully I’ll have one in my possession sometime in the next month or two.
I feel like shit. I just do NOT want to keep living. I will never understand why death only comes to those who don’t want it. I BEG for it.
Anyways, I just wanted to give you an update since you asked in another post. Sorry it’s not something better or more positive. How are you doing? Better than me, I hope.
3 comments
That sucks that you were denied unemployment benefit, the American system sounds ruthless, here in Ireland you’re automatically entitled to benefits if you have paid tax in the past.
Go on welfare then. Just tell them that you need it until you find a new job and unemployment insurance denied you. That’s what I’m doing; when I get fired from this job
Oh, man. Just got tears in my eyes after reading this. It is as if I know you in a physical sense too. I really do not want you to leave this earth as I feel I know you and I can see your potential as a person. I will tell you what I thought about. I am still scouting for work there in South Africa, but if I find something by December, I could at least lend you something to get you out of this ditch, lifelong? I mean, if I could help you save your life, I would do anything to do it especially since financial means is a major reason.
Lifelong, I myself have a very tough time in life right now. But I cannot stand seeing my family suffer because I left. They are pretty much the only reason I am still here. So I suggest you give me your email address so we can at least keep updated and as soon as I get my first payment. I’ll help you out man. If you want to keep chatting here, that is ok too – I am quite depressed so my fatigue might cause me to get fired too. However, I will do my best. As an incel ( you won’t believe it when you see me, because I am not ugly or lack social skills), I do not have any ‘second half’ in the foreseeable future to worry about so I can split that money and rather give it to someone who needs it. Your daughter is special and she needs a father. I won’t allow financial problems causing a death if I can forgo it.