To TiredOfChronicPain

  September 21st, 2018 by Lifelong Loser

To answer your question… I applied online for unemployment benefits and was, as I feared, denied.

It’s just time for me to go. Financial reasons and the inability to get or keep jobs is just part of it. There are many more reasons. Life has been mostly a pathetic nightmare for me and somehow keeps getting worse.

I am going to try to stick it out until March, since I don’t want my daughter and my family members to associate my death with any special dates like holidays or birthdays.

It will be tough. I may not even make it until then. I haven’t spoken to another human being (except my 2 year old daughter) since I got fired a few weeks ago. I have no friends and I’m too ashamed to tell my family. I’m going to start the process of looking for a gun to buy this weekend. Hopefully I’ll have one in my possession sometime in the next month or two.

I feel like shit. I just do NOT want to keep living. I will never understand why death only comes to those who don’t want it. I BEG for it.

Anyways, I just wanted to give you an update since you asked in another post. Sorry it’s not something better or more positive. How are you doing? Better than me, I hope.

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