Today was the worst that I ´ve had in a while. Nothing unusual happend just my emotional state was even worse than usually. I just watched these people being happy, being normal. When I was waiting for the tram I had this immense urge to just jump under it as it was aproaching. To just end it all right here right now without thinking it through. I think this kinda impulsive way is how a lot of people take their life, coz like me they feel too guilty to act on their thoughts, think through some plan and do it “correctly”. Im afraid that the day will come when I wont be able to resist this urge anymore. It would destroy my family. I just want to cry so much. I feel like that would help me. Sadly, I cant.
5 comments
Life is so cruel and unfair that we can’t even end it without guilt or making someone else feel bad. So either we suffer or someone else does. Yet another no-win situation.
I hope things get better for you somehow.
Perfect definition of life you did!!!
Hi Life. What are you the updates to the benefit system? I was worried about you.
If you need a friend I’m here for you. I’ve been having a pretty rough day too and it seems to just keep getting worse. Why do you feel like you can’t cry? Also, I’m glad you didn’t jump in front of the tram.
I feel the same when I’m driving on high places…I imagine me jumping down still driving inside the car and diying at last!!! I wanna cry for years…there’s so much sadness in my chest…
I know how you feel and it’s horrible! And like you I delay my suicide to the next day and the next and the next…and the pain only grows…