Urge to selfharm

  September 19th, 2018 by Beneathetide

I’m having a bit of an episode right now, just really hating myself and wanting to bruise myself. But I can’t because then my husband would see the bruises. I need a distraction, I need to calm down. Normally I’d try running to relax but this time I don’t want to, I just wanna freaking hurt myself so bad. I feel like I deserve it. I want to see myself writhering in pain on the outside like the way my heart feels on the inside right now. I can’t talk to my husband about how I feel because he wouldn’t be able to deal with it, since his ex used to self harm and he hates that stuff.

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