October 2nd, 2018 by arielblaze

i might be paranoid. but sometimes it feels like people around me are somehow conspiring to make me commit suicide. or just to make me feel ill, or terribly sad. that wouldn’t be an uncommon scenario i guess. it would be absurd, but absurd is very much present in everybody’s life. i just wish i lived in a house with a perfect acoustic isolation. each sound that comes from the outside, comes carrying a mix of haunting feelings. yet i explain this to anybody i would be probably be encouraged to see a doctor, and if i go see a doctor, i would face a risk to be internated, or to have so medication prescribed to me, and that is something which i am not willing to take right now. then i have to hide from people, or at least, talk about this in a figurate way, that wouldn’t lead immediately to the conclusion that i might be a paranoid psychotic. but is not as if i could, perfectly well, live among the others, as the world is made for the stronger, those of the frail nerves, don’t have much place in here.

but well. there isn’t much to say. let’s see how things goes, where it will go.

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