I honestly don’t think I’ll ever understand why people want to live so crazy long in this world, like up to age 100. IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE. I literally see no point even living past age 30.
I honestly believe by life will NEVER have meaning. Even if most of my problems went away FOR GOOD; nothing, and I mean NOTHING could EVER make life enjoyable for me.
Like, even when I’m not feeling sad or depressed, life is still never very fun or enjoyable for me. I truly believe that even if I start to feel less miserable one day; nothing will EVER be able to make me enjoy life.
Let me put it this way: when you lose interest in things you used to enjoy, that were literally AT LEAST HALF OF YOUR LIFE; then there’s NO WAY to enjoy life again unless you finding something else you enjoy just as much, which for me simply is not going to happen. I never have ANY motivation and the only things I enjoy doing on the weekends now are using my phone to do the same things over and over again; and sleeping. Those are literally the ONLY things I ever enjoy doing on the weekends now. There is nothing that could ever cure this problem no matter how much my mood improves.
You see, I used to enjoy bowling and video games but, just to make a long story short, lots of things happened and I have certain problems that have made me unable to enjoy those things for the last few years. Those two things were both at least HALF of what I enjoyed doing in my life. And now not only have I lost interest in those two things, but I’ve also lost interest in pretty much everything else in my life too.
Also the fact that I have just lost interest in everything regardless of what goes on in life or what problems I have, is another thing contributing to this.
It just doesn’t make sense to me how people NEVER get tired or bored with life, and live such a happy life forever. I swear to god there are some things I will simply never understand. Life is so fucking pointless it’s not even worth being born into, in my opinion. Now even though I don’t want to die right now quite yet, I hope I don’t have to live even a DAY past my 26th birthday. I’m 21.5 now btw. I hope I live to be 25. At the VERY oldest. I’m just so tired of life that I dont even see a point in continuing on past then, even if I still don’t want to die when I get to that point.
3 comments
I can relate. I have planned to kill myself on my 30th birthday if things don´t somehow magically become better for me somehow. 30 just feels like a nice age to go in my opinion, I believe one could have somewhat grasped on what life is about by then so waiting any longer would make not much sense.
I can understand tried to kill Myself earlier this year i felt like life was pointless i lost all my energy i lay in bed day after day feeling like the pain would never end and i wouldn’t amount to shit . Until i tried Ketamine and it saved my life when i was in the K hole going round the earth it changed my whole perspective on life. It did in 1.5 hours what not evan a team of so called medical professionals could have done in a life time.
I don’t even know the heck how people even make it to 30… let alone, 40, 50….
Ugh……