Last night I was a little tipsy, even though it was a fucking Tuesday, and I left at closing with some people. But I was fifth wheeling it was horrible. Everyone else is so happy. So I went separate ways to take a walk and clear my head.
I looked up at the stars. I love looking at the stars I love being reminded how infinite the world, the universe really is. Reminds me how insignificant I really am. How small I am. How small my life is. Makes it so much easier to not care. I checked everyone was home but yet no one checked if I was home because not only do I not care… people don’t care either.
I had a best friend and my ex boyfriend hurt him and now my best friend won’t talk to me and I’ve lost the one person I could talk to about anything no matter what I was feeling. He knew how much I needed him and still do and it fucking hurts that he won’t speak to me. I miss him everyday, but he barely acknowledges my existence. I should’ve expected it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. I wish I could just know what he’s thinking. But who would miss me back anyway. For now I just have the stars.
2 comments
Looking at the stars always gives me comfort on the nights where I feel like shit.
Lately, it’s just been making me feel worse.