October 11th, 2018 by justhope

back again. and i wasn’t gone for long. i just realized and somehow accepted the fact that i just wanna die. i mean it’s like i’m not empty anymore, but i feel just the sadness. and it just took one thing to switch my feels. i don’t wanna fight anymore i just want to go… and i’m scared that these feelings aren’t real that i’m just faking it. i mean they feel real, but i’m scared that society will be like umm she’s faking it she just wants attention… i’m tired of it all. i want to sleep but can’t, i want to love myself but i have no positive thoughts for my body, i want to be loved but i don’t love myself, i want to feel real things not just to imagine how they feel… i want to know what love is, i’ve been in love a lot i ‘d say, but the feeling was only one way… am i not good enough, i’ve been asking myself a lot – now i just don’t even care why no one’s been in love with me yet… i even accepted the fact i’ll die alone. so in conclusion, if i can’t feel good things and will never experience love, why would i hang on to life?

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