Why can’t I kill myself?
Am I really that weak?
Why can’t someone peacefully and painlessly kill me? Sure it is a final solution and dangerous since some of us didn’t ask to be born in this world I am not ungrateful about life I just don’t want to be alive and deal with all the humans of this world anymore.
Autism, ADD, ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, supposedly Schizoprhenia (I don’t hear voices in my head or see things aren’t there unless I am high off weed)
Suicidal thoughts are a permanent infliction it seems they come and go as they please as if they had their own way of wanting me dead. Although I do walk around and talk to myself it is something “I do”
Funny thing is some of those things seem to come and go. I don’t want be alive anymore I’ll just rebound all on my own and they will come back.
I don’t think I deserve to live or have SSDI or have this life. I don’t understand why I am not allowed to legally off myself. I don’t trust mental hospitals but I rather have the strength to kill myself I don’t think suicide is selfish or cowardly or any other bullshit sure it is the easy way out but it is better than dealing with life it is not that people don’t understand me it is I just wish I had some sort of purpose in life. Loneliness doesn’t bother me I don’t “feel lonely just empty”
I just want peace of mind