friend groups don’t work out

Just going by your post, it does sound like they’re using you, perhaps for companionship or a 5th wheel. I’ve had some rough patches with my close friends and I asked them if they wanted to have me as a friend or did they have a negative opinion of me. Sometimes they would hang out with each other without inviting me for example.

And my friend explained that he knew I wasn’t a car nut for example when they had car shows in my city and they were right, I wouldn’t have attended. So, in fact, they weren’t ignoring me or brushing me off, they just knew what I liked and didn’t and called me out for events they knew I’d be into.

It was very reassuring having that discussion and actually, it strengthened our friendship. Now on the flipside, there were a few individuals over years who started out as good friends but they became toxic over time and eventually I cut them out of my life.

I tend to have a very keen intuition about people and usually pick up bad signs early in the relationship and once it’s confirmed to me, then I know where I stand with this person and I decide if I want to keep them or drop them.

However, keep an eye on the big picture. If you don’t have many friends, then it’s best to hang onto these people if you can until you make better friends unless they’re very toxic, then you’re just better off dumping them.

Also many people don’t like brutal honesty and they usually won’t tell you the truth anyway, they’ll just tell you what you want to hear. So clearly you’re meeting some need or niche in their life or they wouldn’t have you around.

They treat you poorly because they know like a dog you’ll keep coming back to them. One thing you must work on is low self-esteem, I’ve had this affliction also. You’ll find it makes you miss out on some potentially incredible relationships and it prevents you from being assertive (standing up for yourself) when it counts the most-speaking from experience.

I’m a lot better now than I used to be in high school, because I’ve basically taught myself how I ought to handle things but it’s not always the case. Sometimes I’m insecure, sometimes I over-react. But 90% of the time I try to remain calm and low-key and don’t escalate anything unless I felt I really must.

The key really is to develop self-confidence. You can do that through athletics, getting a job/income and through education. Once you gain more stature, it’ll naturally change your personality and you’ll like yourself a lot more than you did before.

In high school due to my low self-esteem sometimes I let some azzhol’s get away with their insultive comments or lying about me. But once I became more fit and looked/dressed better, most people were either intimated and avoided me or wanted to be my friend.

You mentioned you always try to look for the good in people-you’re not doing a favor to yourself by overlooking their bad side, which can come back to haunt you. Then you’ll wonder why they don’t treat you well. Because they weren’t good people to begin with, but you chose to ignore it.