i resent my boyfriend and his kid

i also hate my boyfriend but i’m not going to get into the million reasons why he pisses me off right now. i’m just going to get into why i hate his his kid. my boyfriend is 28 and i am 18. his kid is 6 and i’ve known him since he was 4. he hasn’t changed AT ALL since he was 4.

he still doesn’t know how to spell his name, he’s the laziest kid i know. just a few minutes ago he was laying on he bed with his nasty ass feet touching my leg and he was like “why are the cookies on the floor” all mad. i said “i put them on the floor because you were going to knock them off the bed (and ruin them for everyone else more than your nasty ass hands already did)” of course i didn’t say the stuff in the parenthesis, i’m not that mean. but that’s what i wanted to say. then he struggled for like five minutes trying to reach them without having to get off the bed or even move slightly to reach them better. he 100% expected me to get up from where i was laying to give them to him. i know that doesn’t sound that bad, but he does shit like this all the time and it gets annoying.

he never stops talking even though he’s really not saying anything and anytime his dad is talking to me or showing me any attention he tries to butt in and ruin it. and he always succeeds.

i have two cats and he literally harasses them. the kitten will be laying on my lap sleeping and he will rip her off my lap suddenly and she obviously doesn’t want to be around him so her claws dig into my skin but he takes her anyway and then bounces her yelling random shit in her face and complains when he gets scratched when she tries to run away and come back to me. then he will rip her off me and do it again. sometimes he will hold her above his head and then drop her saying “you can fly!” or run through the house holding her above his head screaming that same thing.

he makes fun of me because his dad thinks it’s funny but it’s really starting to piss me off. when he comes over his dad is always playing on the xbox and the kid is always playing on his old phone and they barely talk. he’s literally only annoying when he doesn’t have a screen in front of him to brainwash him. he never plays outside. ever.

out of all the times he comes over and stays the night he’s only bathed and brushed his teeth ONCE. he’s literally always dirty. i don’t know what he does at his moms house but when he’s over here, he acts like a baphoon. no manners whatsoever. no please or thank you. he’s spoiled as shit. gets whatever he wants. if he doesn’t want to eat the dinner i make i’m expected to go to the store and get whatever the fuck he wants with my own money. once i had to make him ramen noodles after slaving away with a meal i made me and my boyfriend and i had to make him ramen before i could even eat and then my food was cold. then he took like one bite of his ramen and got distracted with his phone and his ramen got cold so he didn’t want it anymore. then he complained the rest of the night that he was hungry but i was not about to make his ungrateful ass something else. this shit happens all the time.

don’t say all kids are like this because i wasn’t. everyone who raised me said i was the most polite child who ate whatever my family made even if i didn’t like it because i knew if i didn’t eat it, i wouldn’t have anything else to eat. i was raised right. i was always grateful for what i had. and i grew up middle class. we didn’t struggle for money. that’s just how it was.

his older half-brother is 8 and he’s ALWAYS been polite and nice to me since i knew him when he was 6. once the older brother messaged him on the xbox and said “tell (younger brother’s name) i miss him” and you know what he replied with? “shut up (older brother’s name)”

once they both came over and the old brother brought his controller so they could play on the xbox together (we only have one controller that works out of three). the younger annoying one wanted to play minecraft because that’s the only game he doesn’t lose interest in within five seconds. the older nicer one wanted to play ANYTHING besides minecraft because i’m assuming that’s all he gets to play at his house because his younger brother is the boss. i said “ okay, (older nicer brother) you get to have 20 minutes on the game and then it’s your brothers turn and you’ll switch on and off like that and i’ll time you guys so it’s fair” and the younger one threw a huge fit and threw his brothers controller against the wall and cried for like ten minutes until his dad came back in from the living room (he goes into the living room to get away from them) and he was like “what happened why is my son crying” kind of mad. i told him what happened and he said “that’s no reason to cry” he didn’t even say shit about him throwing his brothers controller. if it was my kid he would’ve went in time out, i don’t give a shit. you’re not throwing SHIT in my house i don’t care how mad you get. then the dad went back into the living room and i followed him and he was like “this is why i don’t bring his brother over. he always fights over the game” i swear it took everything i had to not scream “ no. your son is the one who’s mean. his brother is the nicest kid i’ve ever fucking met. your kid is an entitled brat just like you.”

but i don’t say shit. i’m not trying to be a parent to this kid and i’ll tell you why.

when i was 17 my boyfriend got me pregnant. said i wasn’t taking my birth control. he said he would leave me if i didn’t get an abortion. i said i didn’t care. but then he started to threaten to shoot up my school, hurt my family, “you don’t deserve my seed” etc. this is what was probably the worst “if you don’t get an abortion, i’m leaving you. if you don’t get an abortion and hit you so hard you lose both of us anyway.”

i still said no. this went on for like a week before he finally broke me down. he told me to come over so we could talk about it and he promised not to hurt me so i went over. thinking he cooled down and was ready to step up and take responsibility. but no. he used his fake nice personality and calmly explained to me all the reasons i need to get an abortion. he said things like “you’re too good to be a teen mom, we can’t afford a baby. if we could afford it i wouldn’t mind. it’s evil to force me into parenthood. i promise to give you a child when the time is right. i want to marry you first” etc etc.

i caved in. i agreed. i went on autopilot. i went against every instinct in my body for this asshole. a couple days before my abortion he texted me at school drunk saying “i’m having second thoughts about the abortion” i got my hopes up. when i saw him after school he told me he was just drunk and wasn’t actually having second thoughts. whatever. short lived hope.

i had an abortion the day after my 18th birthday. now my birthday will NEVER be a happy day for me. he ruined my graduation and my 18th birthday. my two biggest milestones i was supposed to have.

on the way to the clinic i saw protesters holding signs of babies and i started crying. he was like “there will be time to cry when you’re done. shut up.” when we got inside i started tearing up and he told me to shut up because the people there would think i didn’t actually want the abortion. i was like “do you really think anyone WANTS to have an abortion?” and he was like “ well no one else is crying about it” the room was filled with women waiting to do the same thing i was about to be doing. i was terrified. i felt weak in so many ways.

after it was done, we were on our way home the next day. he started complaining that i wasn’t making money and he was struggling by himself even though he doesn’t “trust me enough” to have a job. i was on my last social security check and the entire check was wasted on an abortion i didn’t want in the first place. i threw the last few hundreds i had from my last check at him and he got pissed.

he said “i was thinking about making you have this abortion and leaving you anyway for revenge”. revenge for me going to a party behind his back when i was 16 almost a year ago at the time. i went behind his back because he didn’t allow me to have friends. also it was my ex boyfriend who shot himself’s memorial party. he doesn’t know that because he’d be even more pissed saying shit like “you still love him” etc. he threatened to leave me there four hours away from home without my phone. i said “do it. if you’re leaving me after all this just leave me here.” he refused.

anyway, the due date of my child came around and i was flooded with emotion. it’s been a constant struggle since i had the abortion but the due date made it all more real. i was crying over it and he got pissed and said “that shit is in the past. stop trying to find shit to be dramatic over.” so i bottle it up.

i feel like shit talking to my family about it because all of them wanted me to keep the baby. most of them were as supportive as the could be about my decision but i know they were all disappointed and unhappy. i
vent to my mom but every time she cries.

i’ve always been pro choice but i’ve always said i could never have an abortion. but i did. i went on autopilot. i take full responsibility for it. i should’ve been stronger and stood up for what i believed in. for what i wanted. but i can’t help but resent him for breaking me down and making me feel like i wasn’t worthy and couldn’t do it without him.

that’s just a little back story on why i hold so much resentment with his kid. i used to be patient and compassionate, now i don’t give a shit if any of them died. i’m detached and i don’t care. better to feel nothing but hate than only sadness.

this was just a rant. i know i should leave him. i will one day. if you give me advice just give me advice on how to deal with this kid and stop resenting him for something he took no part in. thank you for reading. i don’t even expect anyone to read all of this. sorry i wasted your time.