today i want to write about love. what do you think about when you hear the word love? do you think of your parents? domestic animals? your partner?
when i hear the word love, i think about the feeling that grows in me, the feeling that everything is possible and that the world is great. i adored that feeling. adorED.
these days, i started to not give a fuck about love or this feeling. i don’t even long for that anymore. i must mention that i’ve been in love before, but sadly it was only one-way feeling, and yes i’m 17. you’ll think, well she’s just another desperate teenager searching for attention or stuff, but i’m not. i don’t want attention. all i wanted is someone to share my thoughts with, my love… from when i was little i believed that there’s someone for everyone, that we are supposed to find our soulmate, but now… now i just feel we’re here to suffer and live a miserable life. now i just feel that love isn’t for everyone, just for the chosen ones. and i’m not one of them… and it doesn’t even bother me, really… and that scares me a little bit, but just for a second. the feeling goes away really quick. i just don’t know what to do.
i think i just gave up on the greatest force there is, and frankly, i don’t see any sense in living without this force, without love.
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I’m in love with someone and right now I feel the same way. I just want to stab my heart to end it’s misery.
i truly understand how you feel. i was in that positions so many times. i loved too much and now i have nothing left, not even for myself… it’s just sad. i wish i could just erase all the bad emotions.
I think of my daughter.
She’s the only person who loves me unconditionally and I love her right back.
But even that love won’t be enough to keep me here, unfortunately. I wish it was enough. She deserves to have a father who loves her, but she deserves someone far better than me. Hopefully her mother meets someone like that who can love her and provide her with everything that I can’t. Someone who isn’t a complete failure in every other aspect of life.
I know she won’t remember me, but hopefully a tiny part of her knows that she was truly loved.
i truly believe that she will remember you, you are her father. she knows you love her, and she does love you. i know that, i am a daughter and have a loving father. we might not show it, but we do love our fathers.
She is only 2 and will be about 2 and a half when I make my exit from this life in the early spring.
If she does remember anything about me.. Hopefully it’s the positive things. I really wish things had turned out differently so that either I was never born, she was never born, or that I could’ve been a better, more normal person who could be the kind of father that she deserves.
Either way.. Hopefully she has a great life and can someday forgive me.
Bullet in the brain
Or an OD under the bridge.
Not too be morbid, but honest, that is what I feel
For me, love is less attainable than:
– winning two lotteries in a row
– becoming a rock star, pop idol, and rap icon at the same time
– playing alongside Messi and Suarez at F.C. Barcelona
– having millions of Instagram and YouTube followers
– climbing Mount Everest without supplemental oxygen
– becoming the first human to step foot on Mars
– being immortal, invisible, and invincible
– discovering the cure for cancer
– uncovering all of life’s mysteries
For some unfortunate souls, “love” will never be anything more than an delusional fantasy – and hoping for anything more will only lead to disappointment.
Very true.
Or, if one finds it, it can end at any time for any number of reasons.
Life is such bullshit.
I’ll bet after death you are immortal, invisible and invincible, heh? (Anything you like)
I think of pain…. Loving people hurts, at least as far as I’ve experienced. I don’t think I’ll ever experience being loved.
I think of my failed love life. No, failed is a bad word. Nonexistent. That is the one.
I’m inclined to say bulls*it when I think about love. It’s just emotions.