Relapse. a simple 7 letter word that i seem to know all too well. i got locked up again for trying to kill myself after a year of doing well, of thinking shit does get better. but it doesnt and i suppose i should have known that. im out now, doing better, but wishing that i did end up dead. life fucking sucks and although im not actively suicidal, i wish i died. i wish the pills killed me. i wish they didnt save me. i want nothing more right now than to slit my arms and bleed all the pain and frustration out, but its been 2 years since i last cut and thats something i worked so hard for. it shouldnt matter right now, but theres that voice inside me thats telling me not to, to put all those years of therapy into practice and resist. but am i strong enough to?