Rusted metal sodomy

I live in a shithole. There is mold growing in the walls, window frames, and carpets. The roof has not been repaired since last spring’s ice storm, the landlord fell through my ceiling while checking into the leak and repaired the missing piece of ceiling from that particular area, but my kids are sick from mold, I can’t afford to live elsewhere (rent 6 buildings down the street is double for the same sized apartment). My kids are asthmatic and have gone through inhalers as an alarming rate.
My eldest has severe behavioural issues (stabbed his baby brother today) and he (eldest) has been removed from the household for the night.
The transmission on my vehicle blew and went to the scrapyard 2 fridays ago.. the day before my birthday to boot- just to help remind me of the million reasons I fail with every breath.
Currently, I am hearing neighbours’ bass pounding as they party with the superintendent at an obnoxious volume- superintendent doesnt live here, but shows to party with 20yr old tenants while using the parking spot I pay for while breaking volume by-laws, and the private parking by-law while handing me a migraine and sodomizing any hope for sleep in my apartment with a rusted metal pole.
I won’t even get into my medical issues…
So, when some optimistic f-ck asks why I struggle to smile, and I tell them to eat sh!t, I think it’s truly the only way I can respond nonviolently.