Today I was on the side of a highway helping my ride add coolant to the radiator of his truck.
All I did was hold the hood open, but while doing it I was looking at the oncoming traffic. Trucks. And I just wanted to bolt right in front of one. I was thinking about the incredible pain. Intense but (hopefully) brief. It’s not pain that I fear. I’m no stranger to pain. It’s staying alive.
I don’t want to mind fuck a trucker. I am not selfish. I just see opportunities to die everywhere I go.
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I’ve had similar experiences. When I went on a hike with my friend I wanted to just walk off the edge. At the end of the trail that overlooks the city there was a bench and my friend sat down. I slowly walked to the edge and could only think of jumping.
I can understand when someone reaches that level but it’s good that you practiced self-control. More than likely the truck you jump in front of would swerve to try to avoid hitting you and very likely smash into other vehicles.
And the rest of how it plays out is pretty obvious, that’s on top of your trucker friend potentially being traumatized for life as a witness to such an event.
There was a similar thread about this earlier. I’ll repeat my view which is that people should pick a method that doesn’t put other people’s lives at any risk.
What people do is up to them, my words won’t make much difference and it’s just my opinion-but hopefully more sensible, responsible people will put some thought into their final act and have consideration for other humans.
I fantasize about ways to kill myself all the time, in all kinds of scenarios.
But yes, it’s far better to choose a method that doesn’t directly involve other people. That isn’t fair to them at all.
The one I choose will ultimately just need me to make it happen. (Plus the inanimate object(s) necessary, of course)
Agreed LL, some have argued that there aren’t many effective ways to pull it off which is true. But there definitely are proven ways that work that suiciders have used for thousands of years and that don’t involve accidentally hurting others in the process.
Of course, I can’t name them here due to the rules but they’re not hard to figure out. I get that some people are in great pain and want to end their lives and sometimes you have no choice but to make that snap decision. But it’d be best if people carefully plan their suicide as best as possible so that we succeed and there aren’t unintended consequences.
There are cases where people have used certain harmful gases, but they never left warning signs up so paramedics, relatives have themselves succumbed or died due to the fumes. This is homicide so not only should we have a ‘duty of care’ for others but it is also criminal.
*criminal if we don’t-due to accidental deaths that result from actions we take to end our own lives.