I recently told my crush that I thought she had beautiful eyes. I introduced myself first of course but up until this point I hadn’t ever talked to her in the past. I was reading articles online about how NOT to talk to your crush and it turns out that I made a mistake by telling her this according to the masters of dating. Now I was a little drunk when I told her but it was by no means a mistake. I meant to get drunk in order to loosen up in order to tell her that I thought she was beautiful, it was no accident. She giggled and smiled when I told her this and I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing. I’ve read that some women just do that because they think your kidding but I really meant it. I’m afraid that i was a bit too upfront but i get contradicting advice online. Some sites say you should be upfront others say that you shouldn’t so I’m a bit confused on how to move on from here. I know for sure that I fucked up when I told her that I was a little drunk…..however I did also tell her that I was only drunk because “I needed some liquid courage”. So I’m hoping she understands that it was by no means a mistake. A lot of other guys kept trying to get in my way while I was talking to her. It’s as if they didn’t want me to talk to her. It’s like I was pursuing some chick they wanted to pursue. What should I do now that other dudes know I like her? Will they be “on guard” next time i go to work? Will they be ready to cock-block me when I try to talk to her again? I seriously think they have a “If i can’t have her then you can’t either?” mentality and so i figure this is why they cock-block. I seriously hate the term ‘cock-block’ because it almost implies that all i want to do is get in her pants but that’s not the case so don’t get it twisted. All I’m saying is that I’m starting to realize that this is like a competition. Other single guys are seemingly trying to stop me from talking to her and not in an upfront way. They wont admit it but that’s the vibe they are giving out, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out when it’s happening.
I’ve had female advice and some are saying I should just be upfront with this crush of mine. They think I made the right choice by talking to her and complimenting her eyes others don’t think so however. I’m thinking that the blushing and gigling was a good sign. I was even cut off mid-sentence by a cock-blocker when I was talking to her at work and she came back to me and asked what I was trying to tell her earlier.
I’m sorry if there aren’t many clues in this post to fully examine the situation but I’m typing things as i think about them which is noobish (i know). Oh I also asked if she wanted to eat lunch with me during break and she said yeah.
8 comments
Firstly, I think you should avoid looking too much into dating etc advice online. There are some universal “no-nos”. but each person is different and each situation will be different. Trying to follow all of the advice floating around (often conflicting advice, like you said) will only lead to confusion. However, one thing you should definitely not do is suddenly make a confession of love, infatuation etc. Like you said, this was the first time you’ve talked with her, and as such, you don’t really know her at the moment.
I think you should try to spend more time with her. Find places and times where you can naturally talk with her (like during the lunch break she’s going to spend with you). You’ll get to know her and she’ll get to know you. And most importantly, (this will sound cliched but it’s true) be yourself when you’re talking with her. You can’t build a relationship (romantic or otherwise) on parroting things people say you should say. After a week or two, if it seems she’s enjoying the time you two are spending together, ask her out. Also, don’t worry about other guys. This isn’t some game and she isn’t a prize. She’s an individual with her own thoughts, emotions, desires etc. Just try to get to know that individual and let her get to know you.
“You’ll get to know her and she’ll get to know you. And most importantly, (this will sound cliched but it’s true) be yourself when you’re talking with her.”
Good advice.
God, I’m glad I’m old and don’t care about finding someone anymore. All the rules, regulations and “what ifs.” My head aches just thinking about it.
ACK! Once a cock-blocker always a cock-blocker! They hate you because they think you are cock-blocking them, hopefully this won’t progress to torture or severe abuse.
Some dudes are insane.
Other dudes be like:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/154448932@N05/31863741568/in/dateposted-public
Here’s some advice from Rod Stewart:
Sorry I posted the link but I don’t think it came up: https://www.flickr.com/photos/154448932@N05/31863741568/in/dateposted-public
I think you have done it right when you just went for it. I wish I had some balls like you man…
I wish alcohol would give me just a bit of self esteem as it does for most people… Sadly I wouldnt be able to tell a girl that she has nice eyes even if I was practically dying from alcohol overdose… All these cock blockers would probably be better than me anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNyeaaHKPPA
Perfect song for you.
See if you can have that lunch with her and if so, at that point be straight forward and ask her out. Don’t bother researching more, no information will ever be able to tell you how one specific human is going to respond. Admit how you feel and get the result, much easier than overthinking it. Sounds like some good signs have happened so far in terms of her responses to you.
@specter Thanks. We actually didn’t even have lunch together on the day i asked her because my insecure ass went to go get buzzed with my ‘buddy’ before I went to the cafe. I don’t even know if she was really expecting me to come. I feel like she sensed that I was scared of actually doing it so she didn’t walk to the cafe with me. I should have shown her that i was serious by getting her attention as soon as we left the factory. We have to take off these white suits and she just so happened to finish sooner than me, I saw her walking out and that’s where i should’ve gotten her attention. Anyhow, I’m going in sober next time to prove that I was serious. I don’t care if I get a little butterfiles, I suppose that’s only natural anyways. I’m going to do it.