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Hopeless

by Black Holez

I feel so hopeless and in despair all the time. Whenever I see people being with friends or in a group, I then have thoughts of self-pity and feeling of emptiness knowing I could never have those friends back, especially now they are attacking me and being against me. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone and lonely. What’s the point? The social isolation is killing me.

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dancingwithdeath 12/5/2018 - 12:13 am

Same here Idk what’s the point when I look at my miserable lonely life. I haven’t got a single friend in ages. I don’t even have a friend to text. I get jealous when I see people having friends to hang out with. Can’t find a sense of belonging in this world 🙁

Soda 12/5/2018 - 3:22 am

Well if people are attacking you obviously they’re not your real friends. I’m going through a similar situation with a family member. There was a time we were very close but she’s turned into a btch and claims to want a relationship but fights over past bs that was already settled.

I don’t put as much value on friends as I do family. I don’t expect friends to stick around because there is no blood relationship there. Just people who got along for a while and then drift apart. Family is different you expect them to be around but it seems even that’s no longer the case nowadays.

In your case, I’d advise making new friends through social media or taking classes, hobbies, etc. It’s not easy but remember you’re not alone there are others who are going through the same thing. You just need to find people in your area who are in a similar boat.

I have a handful of friends left, fortunately, I still have a few from high school I can call on and I will eventually. It just helps to reconnect with people that you have a shared history with. But when things improve for me I’m going to make new friends. You can also turn romantic partners into friends as well. That worked for me in the past too.

Do keep in mind that people will become your friend because you “jive” with them in some way. No one wants to make friends with anyone who is needy/desperate or has other issues. Most people hide these things to avoid scaring anyone off.

Also, you need to come across as easy-going, fun and friendly. That’s generally what attracts people to others. We all have to put on an act, just as you would if you were doing job interviews.

Black Holez 12/5/2018 - 5:32 am

That’s pretty true. You really need to fake it if you’re depressed if you want people to “jive” with you. It wasn’t a problem with me before but now that I’m suffering from social anxiety and depression, I just find it hard. I was pretty social before so I know what you’re talking about. I didn’t have any trouble finding friends, now people stay the hell away from me. It seems the pain shows and people can spot people like us miles apart.

Soda 12/5/2018 - 9:39 pm

Indeed, it is very hard to fake being happy when you’re depressed. So if you can’t fake it then you need to just find a way to get it out of your system until you feel better and ready to meet new people.

In my case I’m able to put on a good face even though I feel like crap on the inside. You just don’t want to get too ‘deep’ with anyone, just keep the conversation light, fun and superficial.

Most people hang out with their friends to forget their problems and have a good time. They don’t want to be around others that drag them down. Good friends can be supportive but it’s best to only share your problems one on one, never in a group.

And good point-nowadays people tend to avoid others like the plague if they sense they’re not happy. Most people are selfish and use others to benefit them, but I think this state of mind adds to more loneliness because people don’t treat each other as good friends but as objects to use and throw away when they’re not needed.

samesh1tdifferentday 12/5/2018 - 12:49 pm

I could be your friend

Nike66 12/5/2018 - 8:49 pm

i feel your pain loneliness i have been in a similar situation for years

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