I’m *VERY* behind in my schoolwork. This *should* be my last real week of university, and I *should* graduate the week after next, but I’m so behind in my capstone that I feel like I’m going to lose it. My mom is fucking insane. She rambles on like a neurotic, won’t leave me alone, is incredibly verbally abusive, and I don’t have anywhere or anyway to go. And she *KNOWS* the pressure I’m under, but she won’t leave me the fuck alone. She knows I even had to take 2-3 weeks off from work just to be able to almost have enough time to work. But she has the excuse that I’d distract myself anyway, but why the fuck does she have to make it worse??? I spent like 2 hours crying in the bathroom because it’s the only room with a lock on it. All while she rambles and yells and harasses me. And my classmates and professors and coworkers have no idea what I’m going through. And even if they did, it’s not like they could help. I have about two days to finish programming and composing for my capstone, but she won’t give me any peace. I wish I had a car. I wish I had money. I wish I had a way out.
I need to finish my work. I need to stop getting distracted. I need to try to work as hard as possible when she’s not screaming like a maniac. I need to stop crying and getting depressed. I need to try to hardcore ignore her. I need to focus and finish, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll have something I can be proud of. And maybe I’ll survive long enough to get the fuck out of here without having a mental breakdown or becoming homeless.
Are there any other students out there who are trapped in a situation like this? Having a shit-ton of work, but trapped in an environment that’s abusive, distracting, and makes it difficult to be productive?
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I must confess I am also a student, but far enough from graduating that I’m trying to accept the discomfort of having to work from home, or at the library. I have a quiet room, but it is the junk room of the house, bad heat, bad A/C, and currently no electrical power to any of the outlets. So I work where I can get the work done, at the moment in the living room.
Everyone wants me to do stuff, and I have to say no sometimes. I want to say no more often, but I’m too accomidating and always think the work will get done.
The work is getting done, and I have a week and two days left. There are a few tests to study for, and a big project that I’ve barely cracked. It is what it is.
Next semester is scary though, almost double my current workload (currently 9 hours, then 16 hours.) I’m planning on working through the break. I never stop working, I hate the silence more than I can ever enjoy the “peace”. I want a fucking job where I have a desk, an office and a door.
Then again, I see the people who have graduated at their work and their offices are a constant mess, a nightmare to me.
There is no peace. There is no perfect job, perfect class, perfect boss or perfect professor. All these things have flaws and those flaws cause stress. The trick is bringing expectations down, and doing better. I say it’s a trick because I’m still trying to work it out.