Life has sucked significantly so this last year or so. From failing an exam and not being able to do what I got my degree in to working at an awful place. I decided that I wanted to enter the new year without any of the negativity. So I decided to quit that job that made me so unhappy. And as life had it that awful slime ball boss was treated like the trash he treated everyone else like and the owner fired him. Instant karma. I can now focus on studying to retake the exam and pass it third time is the charm right? I officially ended the situationship that was going on for over 4 years, there has been absolutely no contact. Strange enough I met this guy back in the beginning of November and he literally is like a great guy. The catch is I found out that he is 15 years older than me! And he lives with his mom but she is disabled and he does take care of her but still weird right? I won’t allow myself to like him or anything it feels so wrong he’s so old but he doesn’t look it. I think it’s all bringing up trauma from the past. Being sexually molested as a child and when I was a young adult. Because of this I have a constant internal battle with myself the part of me that enjoys sex and craves intimacy and the part of me that is repulsed by anything sexual. I don’t know how to feel or what to do I just know that this man is the kindest man ever and he thinks the world of me.