So what do you want for Christmas

I’m only guessing here as I don’t know your relationship with your mother but maybe she loves you regardless of the problems you’ve had.

I used to hate my parents growing up-they were tyrants primarily because of religion (Christianity). But as I got older I was better able to deal with them. Eventually, I realized I took everything for granted and learned that because they worked so hard I was able to enjoy a mostly comfortable life though we were lower middle-class.

When I got into my 20s I forgave and forgot most of the things I hated them for. I was still pretty selfish though and just wanted to get married and get away from them. Life didn’t work out as I hoped. Also my mother was struggling with health issues.

Finally I realized what a selfish ashole I had been for a long time and helped out my mother and we’ve been living together since then. Actually we’ve been a great support for each other.

There was a couple of times I nearly ended my life but I’m glad I didn’t because if I wasn’t around I have no doubt my mother would’ve been homeless and then probably dead soon after as my evil siblings don’t give a damn about her.

I’m not one to judge, only you know what is right for your life. If you prefer suicide I understand that. There was a time it was the right choice for me too and my mother would have to find her own way out as well. But I think the path I took was the right one for me.

Perhaps one day your mom might need your help. Just think of what would happen to her if you were not around and go from there. Whatever you choose I wish you well.