Yea, I didn’t think so.

Everywhere in my mind, all I see is torment and decay. Relentlessly. And just today I thought…for only a few hours, I had found an existence.
Nope. I saw it, and then just like a candle, it flickered out. It’s almost comical.
I don’t have the words anymore. I don’t have the time.
Nothing. And by fuck I cannot figure out why suicide is so difficult to overcome on a physical level. Evolution? Is that all it is.
This biological instinct that would push us faaar past what decency should ever allow. All for genes? No. It’s something else.
Or perhaps it’s just me wishing for one last thing, that there is a definition. Is it sacrifice? Do we exist as a offering to some random galaxy. I mean, why do we die? And why do we fear it.  Is the blood needed. Something about blood is fascinating. There is a depth to it beyond our understanding.
How can we even set an analogue to life? Thinking a certain way about it. I simply cannot. I know nothing.