I almost succeeded in doing it. I was going to quietly fade away…. it was so fucking close. The pain was delicious. *sigh*
They can’t get me a therapist for another month. My car broke down on the way home from the hospital and am still waiting to find out how bad that is going to be.
It’s just, enough. I don’t care about hurting anyone anymore. No one fucking cares how hurt I am….
It doesn’t matter. If I express my method they’ll just lock me up and put me on bad drugs. When the time comes I’m going to quietly go out and do it, screw them and their futile desire for me to stick around.
stick around for what? this entire situation is lousy, filled with incompetent or non empathetic people. It really doesn’t matter which they are.
5 comments
The adrenaline will wear off soon, and you’ll be able to think clearly again, and you’ll have a better idea of what to do. The waiting sucks. Not knowing is miserable, and then an automobile repair doesn’t help either. Sorry.
Hey it sounds like you’re really at the end of your rope (figuratively or literally). My question to you, which I constantly ask myself, is: what’s keeping you from saying F everyone and running away. Literally grabbing a toothbrush, whatever cash you have in the bank, and walking? If that doesn’t work out, you can always kill yourself on a bridge somewhere in a distant town. But best case, you may find that a lot of problems are solved by shedding your old life and the crappy people.
It sounds like you really want help. You sound so desperate to go away. It doesn’t have to end in death. Try a new place different surroundings.
Ya exactly they want you to stay for them in self-interest. Like what the h*ll who are they are what do they want with you? Lmao. F*ck that, you don’t have to stay alive for no one if you’re suffering that bad.
I’ve come close a few times through failed attempts, so I know how good it feels. Now here I am dangling on the edge, if only I’d just fall off all the way. Been ready for a long time.. sometimes wish someone would just kill me