I don’t see a reason to carry on anymore. I don’t see the point. At last, I started getting better. The thoughts of dieing had nearly dissapeared. I was happy at home, I enjoyed being with my parents. But, I’ve done something that is going to dissapoint my parents a lot. When I imagine their faces of disappointment, the words they are gonna say, I feel like I’m drowning. I can’t bear with the feeling of shame. I’m so pathetic. After all the improvement, it has all gone back to the start. Maybe even worse. Anything I do, I feel empty. I can’t even cry. I get so stressed that I can’t breathe, I feel dizzy and I feel like vomiting. Day by day, I imagine what is the best way, the least painfull way to die. I’m scared of myself cause I think that when my parents find out I will actually attempt to end my life. I’m counting the days. I pray that my parents will understand just a bit and that they won’t be that harsh on me. I wish someone could help me, drag me out of this hell.
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3 comments
Are you afraid to share what you did? I don’t think anything you could do would be worth harming yourself.
What happened? What did you do? This is kind of how I felt when I got my first ticket for marijuana possession when I just turned 19. Turns out years went by and it didn’t really matter one bit.
I took a year off and my parents applied me to a computer course. I’ve stopped attending the course and doing anything about it. The course was just a trigger. All the things that I have done over the years that have disappointed my parents were pilling up and this just broke me. I know that reason is stupid and that there is no need to stress over it. I’m so pathetic.