Even when a woman seems to be showing romantic interest, I’ll do my best not to betray the fact that I’m interested too – because I have this belief that I’m going to get rejected. I feel like whenever I take the chance, I’m always wrong about it, and feel ashamed.
Partly, I’m a shy guy, and partly I’ve grown up hearing my mother treat my father like shit, and him just taking it without protest. I’ve grown up in a society increasingly warped by feminists, who waste no opportunity to remind men how we’re basically just rapists and wife-beaters and slave-owners and colonialists, and whatnot.
There’s an xkcd comic strip that really resonated with me. It’s a guy and a girl sitting next to each other, and the girl is wondering why he doesn’t strike up conversation with her, and the guy is imagining the most awful consequences if he does: Her accusing him of being a disgusting creep, etc.
It feels so true. So often, women have seemed interested in me, and I haven’t dared make a move. Eventually, they seem to give up on me, and go from treating me kindly to being pretty hostile. It hurts like a ************, but there you go.
I really think the messaging we men get from society is destructive, considering what is required for us to have any shot at a romantic relationship, and, well, happiness.
I can relate. Except I wouldnt say I fear of getting rejectes. Its kinda the opposite. When I ask someone out (almost never do that) I fear they would say yes, not no. Coz I fear I would go on a date that would be terrifying and also that if they got to actually know me they would realise there is nothing interesting in me.
Idk man, im a misanthrope, I hate everyone myself included. Going to strip clubs or prostitutes just makes me hate myself more. I could lower my standards and get ugly older women but again self hate and world hate gets in there and ruins that. Im planning a trip to SE asia, I know below average guys are incredibly desireable to the women there. I hope that works.
SE Asian women aren’t necessarily gold-diggers. I’ve spoken to quite a few really cool ones. I used to date a Chinese woman.
Partly, there’s a different culture there. I feel like we’re so jaded and spoilt in the West, whereas in other parts of the world, old-fashioned values still survive. And I’m not talking “Make me a sandwich.” I mean that those parts of the world put the collective above the individual, they tend to have closer relationships with family and friends, they tend to have tighter bonds between generations, etc. In my experience, they are often just gentle, kind-hearted people.
Partly, you’ll always be attractive as an outsider, simply because you offer “fresh genes”. That is incredibly attractive to women.
Also, you’re likely to be taller than the average guy there, and women – as we all know – are generally attracted to height – a proxy for physical formidability.
If she’s poor, sure your maybe comparatively impressive paycheck may be a draw. But I’ve met really sweet women in that part of the world who were doing way better than me career-wise.
Wish luck to you m8. I dont hate everyone, I just hate myself. I could at least go for strip clubs and prostitutes to lose my virginity but I dont wanna do that. It would be kinda weird to pay for sex. I really wanna wait for someone special but I am afraid its just a fantasy unicorn that is never coming.
Those things are empty, they’re make-believe. And you would only be fooling yourself.
You’re a handsome guy. And you’re at an age where it’s okay to not have your life sorted out – where women won’t question that as much. At my age those things can really trip you up.
I think it’s basically a question of less thinking, more acting.
My brief experience with so-called daygaming (approaching women in public places to chat) was surprisingly good. The worst reaction I got was a woman ignoring me, and I now appreciate how uncomfortable I must have made her in that situation.
But plenty of women were happy to chat, and I got phone numbers, and went on dates.
The downside with daygaming is that the women you meet will be totally random – mostly selected for their looks. This makes it less likely you’ll have much in common with them.
So generally, I’d recommend meeting women through leisure activities and through your friends.
Tryin to find that “someone special” is whats keeping you a virgin. I had a friend who lived in a college town. He would hang out on the street waiting for a lone drunk chick to walk out of the bars as they closed around 2 am. Hed pick one and offer to walk them home just to make sure they got home safe. Bout 80% of the time they’d invite him inside and he’d get laid.
But you think finding a special person to punch your V-card will? Sorry man life don’t work like that.
The saddest part about human existance is your fantasy will always be better than your reality. Every expirence will either let you down or drive you on to a bigger more fantastic experience that will eventually let you down.
As a side note, if your not trying to get laid and failing, your not an incel.
Maybe you misinterpreted my message a bit. Its not that I am waiting for some ideal waifu. Its just that I look for relationship rather than just sex. I dont really need sex to be honest. When Im horny I can just jack off no big deal… I just need someone to care for me and about me. The term incel is weird I agree but despite what the literal definition (involuntary celibate) says I think I would count as one even if I dont try hard to get laid. I mean anyone who really tries hard enough to get laid will get laid and that would mean there are no incels. Its that perhaps your fear and insecurity prevents you from trying and whether you could call that involuntary or not is up to you. Sometimes words have different meaning than their literal definition.
21 comments
What type of love is that you seek?
human
he actually meant mouse. tee hee! I’m kidding. sorry! I’m very silly right now!
I hope you find that love.
Right now I’m so fed up with women that I see no point in dating. What a thoroughly shitty and ungrateful sex.
I see no point either. I know there are good women in the world, but at some point it just gets hard to shrug off all the bad ones.
I think my problem is I’m afraid of women.
Even when a woman seems to be showing romantic interest, I’ll do my best not to betray the fact that I’m interested too – because I have this belief that I’m going to get rejected. I feel like whenever I take the chance, I’m always wrong about it, and feel ashamed.
Partly, I’m a shy guy, and partly I’ve grown up hearing my mother treat my father like shit, and him just taking it without protest. I’ve grown up in a society increasingly warped by feminists, who waste no opportunity to remind men how we’re basically just rapists and wife-beaters and slave-owners and colonialists, and whatnot.
There’s an xkcd comic strip that really resonated with me. It’s a guy and a girl sitting next to each other, and the girl is wondering why he doesn’t strike up conversation with her, and the guy is imagining the most awful consequences if he does: Her accusing him of being a disgusting creep, etc.
It feels so true. So often, women have seemed interested in me, and I haven’t dared make a move. Eventually, they seem to give up on me, and go from treating me kindly to being pretty hostile. It hurts like a ************, but there you go.
I really think the messaging we men get from society is destructive, considering what is required for us to have any shot at a romantic relationship, and, well, happiness.
I can relate. Except I wouldnt say I fear of getting rejectes. Its kinda the opposite. When I ask someone out (almost never do that) I fear they would say yes, not no. Coz I fear I would go on a date that would be terrifying and also that if they got to actually know me they would realise there is nothing interesting in me.
It’s similar for me. I still consider that a fear of rejection. It’s just that you expect the rejection to come not immediately – but eventually.
When you have a deep-rooted belief you’re useless, it’s hard to convince yourself that someone might want to be around you.
isn’t it
Fuck it, go 100% black pill man, I did. Love is a bullshit temporary illusion anyway. Love yourself FTW.
I m not able to
Idk man, im a misanthrope, I hate everyone myself included. Going to strip clubs or prostitutes just makes me hate myself more. I could lower my standards and get ugly older women but again self hate and world hate gets in there and ruins that. Im planning a trip to SE asia, I know below average guys are incredibly desireable to the women there. I hope that works.
Wait….strippers make you hate yourself but living with a gold-diggers won’t? I sense some moral confusion…
SE Asian women aren’t necessarily gold-diggers. I’ve spoken to quite a few really cool ones. I used to date a Chinese woman.
Partly, there’s a different culture there. I feel like we’re so jaded and spoilt in the West, whereas in other parts of the world, old-fashioned values still survive. And I’m not talking “Make me a sandwich.” I mean that those parts of the world put the collective above the individual, they tend to have closer relationships with family and friends, they tend to have tighter bonds between generations, etc. In my experience, they are often just gentle, kind-hearted people.
Partly, you’ll always be attractive as an outsider, simply because you offer “fresh genes”. That is incredibly attractive to women.
Also, you’re likely to be taller than the average guy there, and women – as we all know – are generally attracted to height – a proxy for physical formidability.
If she’s poor, sure your maybe comparatively impressive paycheck may be a draw. But I’ve met really sweet women in that part of the world who were doing way better than me career-wise.
So seriously. Don’t label them all gold-diggers.
Wish luck to you m8. I dont hate everyone, I just hate myself. I could at least go for strip clubs and prostitutes to lose my virginity but I dont wanna do that. It would be kinda weird to pay for sex. I really wanna wait for someone special but I am afraid its just a fantasy unicorn that is never coming.
I think that’s a good call.
Those things are empty, they’re make-believe. And you would only be fooling yourself.
You’re a handsome guy. And you’re at an age where it’s okay to not have your life sorted out – where women won’t question that as much. At my age those things can really trip you up.
I think it’s basically a question of less thinking, more acting.
My brief experience with so-called daygaming (approaching women in public places to chat) was surprisingly good. The worst reaction I got was a woman ignoring me, and I now appreciate how uncomfortable I must have made her in that situation.
But plenty of women were happy to chat, and I got phone numbers, and went on dates.
The downside with daygaming is that the women you meet will be totally random – mostly selected for their looks. This makes it less likely you’ll have much in common with them.
So generally, I’d recommend meeting women through leisure activities and through your friends.
Tryin to find that “someone special” is whats keeping you a virgin. I had a friend who lived in a college town. He would hang out on the street waiting for a lone drunk chick to walk out of the bars as they closed around 2 am. Hed pick one and offer to walk them home just to make sure they got home safe. Bout 80% of the time they’d invite him inside and he’d get laid.
Yea, thats true. But the thing is I want more then to just get laid once with some random drunk chick. That wouldnt solve anything…
But you think finding a special person to punch your V-card will? Sorry man life don’t work like that.
The saddest part about human existance is your fantasy will always be better than your reality. Every expirence will either let you down or drive you on to a bigger more fantastic experience that will eventually let you down.
As a side note, if your not trying to get laid and failing, your not an incel.
Maybe you misinterpreted my message a bit. Its not that I am waiting for some ideal waifu. Its just that I look for relationship rather than just sex. I dont really need sex to be honest. When Im horny I can just jack off no big deal… I just need someone to care for me and about me. The term incel is weird I agree but despite what the literal definition (involuntary celibate) says I think I would count as one even if I dont try hard to get laid. I mean anyone who really tries hard enough to get laid will get laid and that would mean there are no incels. Its that perhaps your fear and insecurity prevents you from trying and whether you could call that involuntary or not is up to you. Sometimes words have different meaning than their literal definition.