If I had one person who was a support system who would invite me to a different part of the country I might pick up and try and start again but I don’t have that. Even if I won the lottery I don’t know if I’d want to stay. I would probably buy a house on a lake but in time even that would fade. Some lives don’t turn out the way you thought and mine is one of them.
I’ve been doing this for decades. A fairly young good looking guy who has this karmic curse where I can’t find a woman. I don’t want to get married but I don’t want to be alone everyday. I’ve simply made the decision that I want to experience life outside of this restrictive 3D environment. I believe people survive physical death and I want to be free of this body.
I believe in a God, just not the judgmental fire and brimstone one. I don’t know why the Universe hasn’t helped me and I can’t help myself. Like I said, some type of karma that I seem to be paying off but after 5 and a half decades I’m calling the debt paid in full. I believe the Universe is teeming with life and there has to be better environments to exit in than this one. There’s no other way of saying it. I need to be free.
I don’t know why God/law of attraction hasn’t helped me but I haven’t received help. My support systems have left me and I can’t seem to help myself. At this point all the fun has gone out of it and I just want to be free. I believe we get answers on the other side and I’m expecting God to say something like “You really stuck it out considering. I think I would have left earlier myself.”