Stress slowly kills me, it is eating me up. I had a dream : studying in Germany but it became a nightmare. Everyone but me has its registering forms for the school I still don’t know whether I’ve bee’ accepted after 3 months of intensive paperwork and I am supposed to be there in 2 weeks. I am already moving out of my appartement with no plan B if I am not accepted in my school I am basically homeless and I missed about 20 hours of the semester already.
Guess it is a sign that I should not have dreams or ambition, that I am not made for happiness or dreams but for constant uncertainty and fear. I just wish someone could kill me, because I don’t have the strength to do it right now but I am in so much pain it would be a huge relief. Because I just can’t do anything anymore and I am so exhausted I don’t see how I could keep going on.
2 comments
There definitely is no looking up from here. I suffer from frequent nightmares they are one form of either will cause someone of committing suicide or they are a symptom of being suicidal. A lot of people who suffer from nightmares commit suicide. At least you are trying. I know I have no future. I just waste every day praying to die and hoping to finally gain enough courage to commit. I have really bad nightmares, so I hope you can beat your nightmares and stop having them 😀
Thanks.?
I don’t know how long I’m going to keep trying. Guess I’ll have to live one day after the other even if I totally suck at this because I always worry and yeah I sleep about 4hours a night and have pretty bad nightmares