A Sh*tty Week and I hate My Country

My fibromyalgia pain has been coming in strong. Its so strong. You literally feel like you’re dying, but you are awake and live through all the pain. Well if any good news, i been trying to change my life. 10x harder with Fibromyalgia. You feel bedridden, sick, and with no energy. You can sleep 8 hours and just restless when you wake up from all the pain. The sh*t takes it toll on your nervous system. It actually from any trauma you had in your life. I had two finger surgeries and mentally abused all my childhood starting at age 4. God, it makes me cry thinking about it. Imagine little kids 4 to 10, screamed and cussed at all the until he is a teenage, then he can defend himself a bit. But the damage was already done. Wasn’t shortly after being an adult, i get diagnosed with this. Its truly hell. Tbat’s why i think about death alot. Or have a obsession with it. I’m a Scorpio anyways, so by default. I’m obsessed with death. To leave a dying planet, that is so corrupted everything little thing is about money. And if you’re born poor with no mentors( parents that didn’t care about you) you’re sh*t out of luck. I’m already happy the U.S population can’t recover from how fast Americans are dying. America is so great, we have the opioid crisis, bullsh*t laws every corner, overpriced housing, underpaid jobs. 30% income tax, with all the taxes the Government is still broke. California is nuts right now. They want to add more tax to anything, water, electricity. Look at New York, third trimester abortion is legal, which is f*ked up. All the school shootings, murders, human trafficking, obesity, crazy heart disease and cancer. Overpriced hospitals, sh*t food every corner, mcdonalds, burgerking, dollar general wouldnt even have anything healthy. 40 million americans already have pre diabetes. I’m just saying my life sucks and this country sucks. “And everybody wants to come here, yeah its not much better, we are slowly becoming a third world country and where profit is made off people’s suffering. Sounds like hell without the money part.