insecurities. my best friend, someone i considered my sister, stabbed me in the back. i was with this guy and things didnt go so well so we took a break. the next thing i know shes sitting on his lap and im looking at them like wtf. ever since then ive been very protective of those i consider “mine”. i dont like them talking to other people im scared they will be taken away. however i understand that they are their own person and can do what they want but it tears me apart inside. every time they are away from me i fear they wont come back. can anyone suggest a way to come to terms with the fact i cant control them? that just isnt me. i dont like being controlling but the fear of being alone is awful. ive lost everything so many times. i dont want to lose anything/anyone ever again. but if i do that is their choice. no matter how i feel.
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I think the biggest problem is saying “mine”. We don’t really own anything in this world. Especially people. And I known it sucks and it’s hard. But when you see a flower on the ground, i feel you’re trying to pluck it, to keep forever. But true love would be to water that plant, and let it be. Let it grow. And only then can that flower really blossom and you two can be happy.
Prehaps a stupid metaphor, but one I read from a beautiful person.
First not a stupid metaphor I like it and it made a lot of sense. Second I know “mine” is the wrong way to look at things but I’ve lost so much I don’t know how to change my mind set and it’s leaving me in a lot of emotional pain. I know I should let go but…what if I lose them too? What if they decide to move on with their life, away from me? They are all I have left.
Well I would say you need to stop being afraid of being alone. I mean being alone sucks but I think it is not something to be afraid of. Its like ye waking up every morning sucks so much (for me at least) but I am not really afraid of waking up. I think you can only have reasonable relationship you need to be comfortable alone anyway. And this fear is of losing everything only makes it actually happen. Thats advise I would tell you but I dont really feel qualified to give any kinda advise on things like that so keep that in mind. I would I think most probably not even give a fuck if I broke up with someone and my friend started dating that person. Well it just comes down to what “taking a break means”. Ofc I would be mad on my friend if my partner would cheat on me with him. But if it was my ex I wouldnt mind. I would say its
Fk I acidentally pressed send… I would say its their business unles they arent like shoving it in your face I wouldnt care. But I get it you are different and I can understand where u comming from.
Jesus it took down my comment coz of the word p.art.ne. R… Here it is again
Well I would say you need to stop being afraid of being alone. I mean being alone sucks but I think it is not something to be afraid of. Its like ye waking up every morning sucks so much (for me at least) but I am not really afraid of waking up. I think you can only have reasonable relationship you need to be comfortable alone anyway. And this fear is of losing everything only makes it actually happen. Thats advise I would tell you but I dont really feel qualified to give any kinda advise on things like that so keep that in mind. I would I think most probably not even give a fuck if I broke up with someone and my friend started dating that person. Well it just comes down to what “taking a break means”. Ofc I would be mad on my friend if my par .tnr would cheat on me with him. But if it was my ex I wouldnt mind. I would say its
it hurt me as much as it did because i had hoped i was going to spend my life with him (although he treated me like shit however i accepted it) and it wasnt so much that. they told everyone but me! in fact they told them to NOT tell me. the one person that should have been the first to know! it crushed me that my best friend and someone i thought gave a flying fk about me went behind my back like that.
Why do you accept someone treating you like shit? I was always so curious why so many people do that.
I mean what is so atractive for women about treating people like shit? I dont wanna treat people like that.
No It’s typically because they think they deserve it or they are told they don’t deserve better and they believe it.
Long story short. I put up with it because I fked up his brilliant idea to make it better was to control me.so I couldn’t talk to anyone at all and I put up with it because I figured I deserved it.