A woman sitting across me in the library just gave a very nasty look, because she was taking a nap and i made a sound to disturb her. The mance behind that look won’t leave me alone, i was not a human being to her at that moment, i was something much inferior and she wouldn’t hesitate to despise me.
I think one of the reason i hate being in the crowds is that on the one hand i unconsciously want to please everyone, on the other hand i know that is not possible and hate myself and everyone else for that.
I hate myself so much. I hate what i have done and i want to kill myself along with everyone else that has been a part of my life.
I am so pathetic. I want to die this shame is so much wores than dying. I hate myself.
1 comment
Welp, the library isn’t the best place for a nap being honest, and if she didn’t want outside noise some headphones would help her.
Don’t take someone grumpy that personally. If it wasn’t you it would have been someone else, I know kids can still be excited in libraries, people can trip over things and noises are a part of life.
I bet that hate is fairly exhausting. I gave up on self hatred when I took what steps I could to correct the things I loathed that I did or was, and made peace (at least a truce) with the things I couldn’t fix.