light and darkness

I keep coming back to this place of darkness. I could start getting better and start seeing all the light in life yet somehow I end up in the dark. And each time I go back it gets darker and darker. I feel like I’m so close to reaching my breaking point and it won’t be pretty. When I reach out to others about these feeling and thoughts I always get the same answer, which is “don’t dwell on it”. How can I explain that I’m trying so hard to be in a good place yet somehow I always end up in the dark. How can I explain the fear I have within myself but I can’t seem to find the words to say out loud and seek help. I know the light is comforting but the darkness is taking over making it feel like the biggest comfort of all.