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My house is a messy piece of shit, just like me.

by shatterediris

I need to really start fixing this problem…. I think I’ve figured out a way, I’ll I’ll just do 1-2 hours daily until it’s clean…. but only on days where I has no plans. Wait no that’s not good because I’ll use that as an excuse not to do anything. I want to die.

I’m going to start punishing myself each day that I don’t do any cleaning though, no food on those days, I’ll find a heavier punishment if that one doesn’t work.

There’s mice and they’re probably making me sick, and I’m always sick, and everything is a mess and it’s horrible

I wish I was never born.

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17 comments

Hope Dream Love 2/8/2019 - 5:13 pm

what if you cleaned as much as you could on a “good” day? that kinda works for me

shatterediris 2/8/2019 - 5:25 pm

I don’t exactly have those :/
also I wouldn’t want to waste it cleaning…. It’s going to be an endless pointless task, cleaning my house…. It’s horrid…. Like worse than some houses you’d see on hoarders :/

Hope Dream Love 2/8/2019 - 5:31 pm

trust me i get it….what about…a friend to help? a maid?

Hope Dream Love 2/8/2019 - 5:35 pm

where i live we just got this thing were people help will clean your house if you have a mental illness maybe you have that

shatterediris 2/8/2019 - 7:36 pm

I doubt that -_- I also don’t technically have a mental illness…. I’ve never been diagnosed
I also don’t have friends and maids are $20/hour minimum -_-

princessmousy<:3)~ 2/8/2019 - 5:49 pm

Please try not to punish yourself like that. Just clean… just clean…you have to do it.
RE the mice, get traps, bait and mouseproof your house.
I don’t really like talking about mice like that but it sounds like you have an infestation, and you said it might be making you sick, so you MUST get rid of them one way or another.

Hope Dream Love 2/8/2019 - 5:57 pm

oh yeah….i got 2 cats. they also double as therapy pets. i love them with all my heart.

shatterediris 2/8/2019 - 7:38 pm

I have a cat, she sucks at mouse hunting, she just let one wiggle away today after chasing it to me while I was trying to eat…. I did not eat today due to that :/

I used to be in the mood to set mice I catch free, but they have upset me so much that I really want them to suffer now…. I know it’s wrong to cause them harm, so I won’t…. I’m still quite tempted to just kill them instead of allowing them to live though. (I don’t think I’d be able to do that though…. I still feel like a monster about the one I hit, I kind of thought it’d only stun it as I didn’t hit it that hard…. it died.)

princessmousy<:3)~ 2/8/2019 - 5:51 pm

Yeah try and get someone else to do it maybe.

freeroma 2/8/2019 - 6:18 pm

Start with an area, any area, it can be a corner of a room. If there’s trash, bringing a bag with you and putting it directly in will be easier when the bag is full, put it outside if you can.. If its junk you don’t want that’s good, start a pile of it to donate or whatever (I do that). Work for small amounts of time, even five to ten minutes. Take a break for a bit, go back to that area until it’s done.
If it involves dishes, don’t load up the sink fully. Run your water, put in a few dishes at a time, wash those, then put more in the sink. You can let them soak, take a break come back to it. Play music during this process if it helps. I like playing a movie I’ve seen before when I clean (but I have a portable dvd player instead of a tv so I can move it around) so its background noise and something to help focus. Audio books have helped, I’ve also downloaded an app that says websites out loud so I can listen/read while I work.
Mice like food, so if it’s cupboards or drawers, again go one at a time, clean it out, take breaks come back.
Laundry, sort into piles as you come across it, preferably on a clear surface. Don’t have to wash it right away, but making it organized first for when it needs washed can be easier to just grab and go.
If there’s papers, make a pile so it’s all in one place. If its stuff you don’t need like junk mail you can throw those out immediately, go through the rest later.
It can be less stressful breaking it up. It’s a bit less overwhelming and sometimes easier than forcing yourself to clean for hours, less counterproductive than your punishment idea. Go back as needed, but again don’t try to do everything at once, you’ll just be overwhelmed.

shatterediris 2/8/2019 - 7:42 pm

It’s overwhelming to even do a bit…. I did my room one day, except I did not do the closet which I think is a mess…. They are likely living in there as there’s clothing on the ground and a bag of 10 year old trail mix in an old backpack that I just remembered was there…. I think I’m going to throw away everything in there….

shatterediris 2/8/2019 - 7:45 pm

It’s never going to be clean, I’m honestly tempted to just actually build a small room out back and live in there…. I’ve checked the pricing on that, and a 10’x10′ room with a small (but full) bathroom, and one room is actually something I could afford…. then my father could tear down this house and build the small house he plans to build when he returns…. This house is garbage, the heating doesn’t work… the mice come through the vents because those are torn up, there’s really no option for mouse proofing and repairs would cost more than what the house is actually worth -_-
A smaller house would be easier to maintain too :/
My father wants to build a semi underground house, two bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms is what I think he is thinking…. I’ve pitched the idea of shipping containers too mostly because they are kind of cute…. and not bad for the half underground idea it seems, but traditional houses are still cheaper -_-
Wow that got off topic quickly

muspelhem 2/9/2019 - 2:20 pm

Get some help. These things are so much easier if you’re working as a team. The only thing is you’ll have to overcome any shame you have in connection with this. But I think it’ll be worth it. Think of the precious time you’ll save too.

Also, don’t punish yourself for not following through on things. Imagine if you were an employer with an employee and you treated them like that when they screwed up. In the long run, do you think they would get better or worse?

shatterediris 2/9/2019 - 2:51 pm

They would be fired.

muspelhem 2/9/2019 - 5:24 pm

Okay.

But research shows that being hard on yourself reduces your self-discipline, rather than increasing it.

There is also research on parenting that shows that so-called authoritarian parenting makes children lose respect for authority, and be more likely to end up as criminals when they grow up.

In summary: Being hard on yourself doesn’t work and is likely to bring you more grief. It is actually more effective to show compassion for yourself.

shatterediris 2/10/2019 - 2:44 am

Don’t worry the weather is punishing me right now.
But if I punish myself and the punishment is bad enough, I should do things to avoid them.
I could just fire myself, I wouldn’t have problems anymore.

muspelhem 2/10/2019 - 7:45 am

guilford.com/books/Metacognitive-Therapy-for-Anxiety-and-Depression/Adrian-Wells/9781609184964

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