I’m not scared of death. The world had been living without me for millions of years till I was born and I’ve never felt any pain, never suffered, never tried-and-fail, never felt desperate for all those years. I think it was a pretty good deal. I don’t mind going back to that deal.
But (there’s always a “but” for every problem or it wouldn’t be a problem anymore)… for every action we do there are some costs, some consequences. And if I decide to end it now someone else will have to pay and bear the costs and consequences of my action. And that’s not how I want it. I’m not that selfish. Especially when those people are the only people I love the most.
I know that no matter when I do that someone will suffer and will get emotionally hurt but that’s unavoidable.
I can only wait for the right moment to minimize those consequences.
And till then I have to drag this bag of bones that is called my body and I have to endure this bad joke that is called my life. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of it. And I can’t escape it, at least for now.
I have a positive thought every time I wake up: Today I’m a day closer to my freedom!
2 comments
I’m with you on dragging the ol’ bag of bones forward through another day. The value thing is where I’d disagree. You’re actually only able to determine the value proposition for your life in relation to yourself, that’s one point of view out of 7.552 billion people. Chances are that directly you’ll effect maybe 100k. The ripple effects are unknown until long after you’re gone, it’s why highly talented people aren’t usually valued within their lifetime.
I don’t know you, but I know me. I know I feel awful about myself, but others for whatever reason like me and think I contribute. Well, if I doubt myself I have to doubt my judgement that I’m a hot sack of BS. It’s just possible that I’m useful. As long as I’m useful, I don’t want to discard myself so to speak.
Now as to the pain that makes suicide tempting, maybe it can be coped with. I hope so.
I’m about ready to commit suicide and end my life for good (I was originally supposed to have committed August 1, 2012.. but then I started being -kind of- followed I guess in some act posing to be benevolence)
I’ve never really thought about the after death expenses. I am an adult with no assets living with a neighbor lady with amnesia and brain damage. I never thought about funerals or burial because I always planned to shoot myself in the middle of nowhere so my body would never be found. Does this sound like a good idea to keep from having random people billed because of your death?
I am near committing suicide so I really wanted to ask please for a little insight on what should happen afterwards as in legal and financial. Again I have zero assets.