Patience.
February 11th, 2019 by nvmm
I’m not scared of death. The world had been living without me for millions of years till I was born and I’ve never felt any pain, never suffered, never tried-and-fail, never felt desperate for all those years. I think it was a pretty good deal. I don’t mind going back to that deal.
But (there’s always a “but” for every problem or it wouldn’t be a problem anymore)… for every action we do there are some costs, some consequences. And if I decide to end it now someone else will have to pay and bear the costs and consequences of my action. And that’s not how I want it. I’m not that selfish. Especially when those people are the only people I love the most.
I know that no matter when I do that someone will suffer and will get emotionally hurt but that’s unavoidable.
I can only wait for the right moment to minimize those consequences.
And till then I have to drag this bag of bones that is called my body and I have to endure this bad joke that is called my life. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of it. And I can’t escape it, at least for now.
I have a positive thought every time I wake up: Today I’m a day closer to my freedom!
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Feb 11, 2019 @ 13:28:47
I don’t know you, but I know me. I know I feel awful about myself, but others for whatever reason like me and think I contribute. Well, if I doubt myself I have to doubt my judgement that I’m a hot sack of BS. It’s just possible that I’m useful. As long as I’m useful, I don’t want to discard myself so to speak.
Now as to the pain that makes suicide tempting, maybe it can be coped with. I hope so.
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Feb 12, 2019 @ 00:29:59
I’ve never really thought about the after death expenses. I am an adult with no assets living with a neighbor lady with amnesia and brain damage. I never thought about funerals or burial because I always planned to shoot myself in the middle of nowhere so my body would never be found. Does this sound like a good idea to keep from having random people billed because of your death?
I am near committing suicide so I really wanted to ask please for a little insight on what should happen afterwards as in legal and financial. Again I have zero assets.
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