Too fat to be loved

I cant stop eating I’m too depressed to function so I eat to cope. I want to cut myself so bad so I keep eating as a way to cope but I’m so fucking fat I’m driving myself crazy. I have to die soon this life isnt completely worthless I believe in the most high and that to even be alive is a gift. I just want to be better at it. I hate being undeserving of love because I eat too many calories. I hate that I dont have a better way to cope. I hate that I’m so alone.