Wondering

Sometimes its hard to be stuck in your mind, whether its being in a crowd full of people or even in an empty room your always going to be stuck with your own thoughts. I sometimes wonder whether what this life has to hold for me.
Ive wrote on here before saying that my depression has gone but sometimes i can just sit down for five minutes and all those depressive thoughts coming smashing through, making me wonder what it would feel like to do one more cut, one more line, one last time of feeling free.
I think thats why i like the senstion of self harm, because i have control over the pain thats built inside. Maybe some one out there feels or thinks the same as me but i’ll never know.