my life is only getting worse and worse every day and with only 5 days until my 22nd birthday im losing more and more of my will to live every day. Honestly don’t even feel like trying anymore.
March 2019
hey, i wanted to ask this for a while and i searched lots and i never found a proper answer, so basically the girl i love has anorexia , its quite serious and no matter how much she sometimes reaches with recovery whenever she sees her weight up she’d freak out and goes back to giving up and wanting to die. i realllly want to help her, she gets treatment and all but they are pushing her so much and i know its too much and i want to tell her that she needs to recover without me pushing her more. how can i ? […]
My thoughts are fluctuating between extremes. I want to run away from everything and vanish forever. I want to seize the day and live into the next century. Both on the same day.
There’s only so much one person can cry in silence and still have others constantly treat him like he’s the rock. like he’s the strong one who will live out the storm when he;s the one crumbling more and more.
i took my tears and made them into strength. so now what am i but a berserker searching for a purpose. i have no pride and none is allowed for me. how many doors have i shut.
I met a boy. He was the best boy I’ve ever been with and now we’ve decided to break up. I guess we didn’t see a future with one another, but fuck did that shit hurt. I gave him a plant when we first started dating, and he asked me if I wanted it back while he proceeded to water his other plants. I don’t think I can remove that image from my brain, realizing that was the last conversation we would have, that would be the last time I saw him. I left him with the plant and I feel like I’ve made the […]
Send me a kik message at Kalmahavak
Or an email at awh2118@yahoo.com
I’m willing to talk to anyone who needs it. 🙂 maybe we can help each other.
Hey guys 🙂 no matter what’s happening, it feels nice to have people left in the world who still understand me, who will still let me rant and cry. I don’t post often, but I’ve been here almost every day for the past few months. Even if you don’t know me, I know all of you, and I relate with your stories and feel your grief and pain. I feel that I should comment, yet I never know the words to say. All I can tell you is that I feel for every one of you.
In my little world, I’ve just spoken to my boyfriend […]
What is the difference between life, dreams, memories ,and false memories.
Well I guess you could say I don’t entirely understand my past. I got abused by my mother had bully’s as friends and well I was scared. Now I have ptsd ,panic attacks daily, and cry everyday. But more of the problem is that I have a lot of false memories ,probably to cope with reality, I can’t tell the difference between life and dreams most days. That causes problems. Losing a pen causes a mental breakdown because I can’t understand what is real. I can’t put up with it. I want to die. I don’t want to cut myself. I have before ,but what […]
Recently watched a documentary ‘Alone in the Wilderness’ about this guy Dick Proenneke. Recommended watch for those stuck in the void between life and death and can’t stand society.
I sure wish I could pull off such a lifestyle. Perhaps I won’t feel like offing myself then.
If it is any consolation, I used to give my email address on here. I thought I could be helpful and be helped more by people if we could chat it up in private. After a few people and and I tried this it was clear none of us was as ready to help as we thought. I was overwhelmed by their needs and vice versa. Yet I was in awe of their humanity and personal traits. We are a smart and wonderful people here, but if my experiences are any indication, we are high maintenance at this time.
Good to see you again!
As you may know I am heavily addicted to weed. My relationship with this plant is really strange. It is like a bridge between depression and anxiety. The more I smoke the less depressed but more anxious I become. What is worse? What is better? I honestly don´t know.
Sometimes I feel like life doesn’t make any sense, like some people are born rich & gorgeous and some are born poor/broke and ugly, but a everyone goes through hardships and bullshit, depression & anxiety, mental illness doesn’t care who you are. And we get it to the point where we don’t wanna exist anymore. I decided to commit suicide tonight. I don’t know and I don’t care what a none-existence state is like. I just don’t wanna live anymore, I’m sick of this disgusting reality, I’m sick of assholes controlling this planet, I’m sick of humans killing each other for stupid reasons like money […]
Hey Moussy? (I suppose thats u) . I am really confused now. You don´t have to apologize to me. I am sorry for being kinda rude to you back then. I am just curious what makes you think that I don ´t care? Not a sarcastic question or anything. I genuinely want to know what makes you feel that way about me. It is completely fine if you don ´t wanna post here or talk to people here anymore.
I don’t have a good career, no friends due to sa, no skills, no talents. I feel totally useless, I don’t deserve to live seriously! 🙁
I’m in so much submerged pain, and I’ve reach out to everyone, yet the people closest to me are making this the hardest day I have ever gotten through without a breakdown, without cracking completely open.
My best friend was on the verge of suicide, and I called people to help, now I’ll lose my home if I let her back in, my fiance is mad and somewhat blaming me… and I’m torn up more than I knew I could be.
I feel utterly alone, despite being surrounded by people that love me
I can’t cry, and I can’t come to terms with what happened today. I keep […]
I don’t feel like l have a reason to live at the moment.
What about you
I’m going to apologize to PatheticMale for wrongly saying that he didn’t care. I figure he doesn’t care now though. Let’s just make it clear – I didn’t want to talk to you anymore and I didn’t really want to tell you that. It was my own fault for putting up my info here and saying that others could talk to me in the first place.
I don’t want to talk to the majority of people online anymore. It seems that they don’t want to either – so hooray for both of us!
If we are on the same page, dear reader, not having to talk to […]
My depression is like a heavy sack full of nothingness that I must lug around with me all the time. I am entangled in its strings and I can’t get it off. I feel so small under the weight of it. I just want to be free.
Idk what my aim is here, i just can’t handle feeling alone right now. Anybody looking to make a friend?
Drowning in the feeling of trying to stay afloat