i was reading yesterday. cbt is suppose to help a lot if not almost everything. you can do it with a therapist or at home. so i read what it was about. it says:
change your perspective. The next time you notice yourself feeling anxious or depressed, ask yourself: What am I thinking about or what emotions am I struggling with that might be causing me to feel this way?
balance your thoughts. your brain rationalizes decisions you make based on fear or avoidance and then ask yourself: What’s the evidence for that thought? Are there any cold, hard facts that things will go poorly, or am I just speculating?
be patient with yourself. Change won’t happen overnight.
be kind to yourself. When you notice negative thoughts creeping in—things like “Why can’t I just get it together?” or “Other people don’t have this problem”—replace them with something kinder. Ask yourself if your friends would ever say the things to you that you say to yourself. No? Then don’t allow yourself to say them, either.
do what you love, Make a point of taking time to do one or two things on a regular basis that always used to bring you joy and do your very best to be present instead of distracted about the past or worried about the future.
be mindful. switch your thoughts whenever they aren’t aligned with what’s happening right now. Ask yourself: Do my emotions reflect what’s going on in this moment?
a bright future. Ultimately, one of the most powerful things about CBT is that it can give you hope.
i do all of this. im trying really hard to be patient. but ive only watch myself get worse and worse. i dont see the point in trying anymore if something that is suppose to be so helpful does nothing for me. im tired of this sea of emotions. going from angry to sad to happy. im tired of questioning every thought every feeling. i just want to know what is real but i never will. go to a therapist and take drugs, but where does that get me. no wheres! im just spending money i dont have on useless bulls*** that will never work. im a lost cause and its clear nothing can help me im tired of the trial and error. oh lets try this. ok well its helping just for it to stop working. theres no point in trying. i have dreams and hopes. things to live for. but is it really living if its just a hell?
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I tried cbt years ago when I was in my early twenties. It proved useless. Now that was just how I responded, it could work for you but in my opinion which is based on my experience with therapy, therapy is bullshit! However you should give it a go, you might be interested one of the lucky ones it actually helps.
i really have my doubts. ive basically been doing it at home for years. im more suicidal then ive ever been clearly its got me no where. however im up for any suggestions. right now i take melationin for sleep. zinc for…..im not sure all i know is it doesnt change anything just makes me less likely to do it. and weed for…..idk its all stopped helping.
Like Rainwatch, I underwent CBT years ago and concluded that it, as well as therapy in general, is bullshit.
CBT is more or less what you said: “change your perspective”
Let’s stop and think about that. “Change your perspective” is the same naive attitude as “Smile!” or “Stop being negative!” or “Turn that frown upside down!”
It’s a moronically simplistic way of saying “Your problems aren’t real. They’re in your head.”
If you can look yourself in the mirror and say “my problems aren’t real, they’re in my head” then sure, go pay $150/hr to some therapist who will essentially force you to repeat that every week before sending you on your way with the bill.
If on the other hand your problems ARE real, such as sexual abuse, debt, the death of a loved one, bullying, physical impairments and disabilities, or maybe just the realization that this world is full of pain and nobody’s going to save the day, then no amount of “turn that frown upside down” is going to fix you. Pills, drugs, weed and alcohol would do so much better to get you through the day.
PS I just want to make it clear, the “moronically simplistic” and “naïve” people I’m talking about are the psychology “professionals” who con us with this stuff. I have nothing against anyone who says it works for them.
CBT done nothing to reduce my suicidal impulses. I gave it a fair go, I went to sessions sporadically for 6 years and nothing. However I would stress again you should perhaps give it a go in the flesh. Just don’t go in expecting miracles. I like my weed too but I don’t think it can cure suicidal thoughts, you won’t feel suicidal when stoned but you can’t stay stoned all day.
Therapists preface their summaries of the many techniques with “If you do the work, it will help you.” In other words, it might help, it might not.
I’ve had very little luck with cbt. It made me more aware of many things, but did little to change anything. Probably because I’m just too set in my ways. Changing how one thinks is not an easy task.
“. . .that this world is full of pain and nobody’s going to save the day”
@no-one: What more needs to be said?
Yep, that’s my biggest suicidal trigger right now. Not a lot CBT can do for that. Like you said, if you’re set in your ways & the way you’ve seen the world all your life, no pep talk can change that.
Therapy is an adaptive work around solution, it does not always relieve all symptoms. I use a lot of CBT techniques that work, they just don’t end my problems.
First, this is why you’ll find plenty of people who have not had CBT work for them:
Not everyone has their brain set up in a way that CBT is effective. My brain works like a computer, mind you an impressive biological computer with features that electronic ones will never have. To that end, reprogramming works. I’ve been troubleshooting my brain like a computer for decades.
Example: Thought capture and analysis. Doing this can be started by keeping a thought journal of panic attacks, depressive episodes and so on. In the beginning I just would notice common thoughts that occured while depressed and compare with normal thoughts. It became pretty clear that there was a different way they were worded, and thus I was able to catch them earlier and earlier. I can’t unpack the process of countering thoughts, but that’s the second half of thought capture. It took a few years of therapy and I’m still finding new thoughts to counter, but it’s getting easier.
That doesn’t work for some people, and it is very hard to self apply.
Then there is the biological dimension to mental illness. For most people with severe mental illness there is a chemical imbalance in the brain, or areas of the brain that will not fire. You can send signals to that area all you want and it won’t work.
So that’s why I believe in therapy with someone with training in it. It doesn’t hurt that compared to other medical care it’s inexpensive. My point of view is that if my life is of enough value for me to get that upset about it, it’s worth the effort to go to treatment. Suicide and death are hard to get to, and go through with, much harder than driving to a building and talking to someone. The therapists hear much worse than my story, and than this one. They know what they are doing, and a large amount of time find success.
The stats don’t reflect that therapy is a waste of time. The majority of averted suicides are from therapy combined with medications.
It might feel like a waste of time, and patience is hard. The pain is real and awful, and I won’t try and cover that up. I’m in pain right now, but I’m coping because there are strategies that my therapist helped me come up with.
CBT never really clicked with me either – perhaps because my deepest issues were reinforced by a lot of outside confirmation, so there was no way to convince myself that my thinking was just being irrational. Also, my thinking rarely seemed to fit into the simple patterns suggested by CBT. I found it hard to pick out individual thoughts and ask ‘is this accurate?’ or ‘is this catastrophizing?’ Generally, it was neither – just triggered reminders of some fact about myself or the world that I associated with something undesirable or painful.
I do find attempting to analyze my overall situation in a cold, objective manner can bring some relief though, though it takes a lot of mental effort. It doesn’t really change anything, but it clarifies why I am where I am, and reduces the distress somewhat.
Mindfulness makes a lot of sense to me, and the practice is relatively easy and pleasant (I recommend using an app.) It’s more about observing and experiencing your thoughts and emotions in a different way than trying to question their validity. I seem to be extremely resistant to it, but when I do force myself to practice I find it calms me while I’m doing it, even if that wears off quickly. Don’t know if it’ll change anything long term, but it seems worth trying – it’s very low effort.