if i off myself however it may be, bullet, drugs, inert gas or whatever evil that i choose i should be dead. i want this to stop, I’m unhappy in my life, I don’t like myself, I do bad things, just a complete waste. yes, I’m very well off, part own a business and unhappily married to it, but it’s a pain in the ass. kinder garden time every day. employees. f that. I think about being dead and over with….every freaking minute I’m awake. never does it stop. I’m addicted to death, thoughts of offing myself. but the conundrum I ponder is that if I do this deed and I’m dead I won’t know the peace I desire. I hate myself. maybe not knowing will still be better, but I guess I won’t know. please just let there be nothing. what a totally f-up man. 60 years of this shit is enough.