Rantsdidn’t get to do it by viola 3/12/2019 written by viola 3/12/2019guess who fell asleep because of lethargy!! me 🙁 oh well, maybe there will be a better day… 4 comments 0EmailRelated postsIt’s been a while :3 4/7/2020Decisions decisions…….. 4/7/2020academics ruin me 4/6/2020ordinary 4/6/2020this body means nothing to me at all 4/5/2020Bleh 4/5/2020Crying Everyday And So Confused 4/4/2020decisions 4/4/2020I don’t know what to do please help... 4/4/2020My roller coaster 4/3/20204 comments Cause of Death: Suicide 3/12/2019 - 11:29 pmAnother missed opportunity. Yeah I’ve been trying to commit for a long time but none of the days feel very nice and I feel kind of like I am being watched and followed. I would have probably already committed but I get too afraid to act cause I think someone might follow me and stop me cold in the act. Yeah, I wish I could though. I think I have my method down but of course it might not be fail proof. I’d prefer an easier more certain method but hard to get where I’m at.. I’ve had to work around my inability to get my method so that’s kept me alive 12 years longer than would have been ultimately desired. Well, good that you’re still alive, I guess?? Haha Log in to Reply Cause of Death: Suicide 3/12/2019 - 11:31 pmHow old are you by the way? You’re in school? I’ve been out of school for idk, 7 years but I became suicidal while I was in school so I understand how stressful that can be. Log in to Reply viola 3/17/2019 - 4:27 pmI’m now 18. I hate my country…I just want to die. High school drained the soul and passion in me and I’m just an empty shell. I hate how the privileged fucks in my school are like “why are you all so negative? i’m having fun!” like stfu karen, you have time, money, and are on top of the social hierarchy — of COURSE you’d have more fun or be less stressed compared to the rest of us. I know optimism is important in keeping people sane and happy, but…I don’t have the discipline or the grit to survive. Maybe I’m just one of those kids the oldies keep ranting about.“Too selfish! Too weak! Too lazy!”Sometimes I kinda believe in just letting humanity die off from despair or something because we deserve it. We ruined this planet. I don’t know anymore. Log in to Reply Cause of Death: Suicide 3/17/2019 - 10:08 pmI can’t stand people like that but to be honest I can’t stand any people at all. I just think human life is ultimately distasteful. My plan was a nice easy fun plan of killing myself the day I turned 18. Sure high school occupied my days but did I want to be there? No. Did I want to go home? No I was terrified of going home. Did I want to pass 18 and become an adult? Never. I was sure it’d be all over before 18 passed. Of course after high school graduation nothing changes except you no longer have going to school to fill your schedule from 7-3 so you sit and do nothing day in and day out and think about how complete waste of time all of those years of schooling were. And then people start bugging you. And then you decide you want to buy some sh*t or you want to not commit so you have to do lame *ss jobs for lame *ss n*ggers to afford rent. And then people start scaring you. I just thought it’s more trouble than it was worth so I’d commit while I was young so I wouldn’t end up trapped in this sh*thole. I’m almost 25 now. Every day I pray I could go back in time and kill myself on that day. I still hate myself as much as I did then.I don’t worry much about the present and the future because I know one day I’ll just commit and nothing will ever happen again that I’ll have to witness. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribeAllReplies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.