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F*ck This Life

by Todamnbad

I been trying to kill myself for awhile now. I have no super lethal means. Yeah I live in America with no guns. Pretty Un-American. If that was case, I would already be dead. Trick to suicide, is forcing yourself into a situation you can’t back out of. But being able to stop to save yourself is comforting, if you want to opt out. But that’s a dream, Death is usually a slow and painful process, disease, hunger, drowning. If you consider takings minutes to die a slow death, which to me, it is. It’s hurt like a b*tch and you’re not even sure if you’re dying. I wish I could just od’d and bam, gone. I’m frustrated not being able to die. I have no money, hardly any family that cares ( well the best type of family, they say they care, but won’t do sh*t to help you) hardly any friends, hardly a life, and I just want to be gone. I been alone a long time. I spent weeks without talking to anyone. I’m truly alone and hardly anyone cares. I have too many problems, so they run away. I don’t have any money, so they run away. Nobody ever hardly visits me. And if they did, it would be for a ride, or they want something. I’m sick of my life. I don’t see a way out. I’m a burden to this damn planet, and I want out.

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Soda 3/16/2019 - 3:41 pm

We can’t discuss methods here but there are plenty you can google which are effective.

I plan to go with a very easy reliable method, the body needs O2 to survive, if it gets used up or displaced then it’s over. From what I’ve read, it works really well so I personally am confident in this option.

Of course there will always be some discomfort involved no matter what means one chooses but imo a few minutes of suffering is better than waiting months or years. My life is ok right now so I plan to keep going.

However if I lose all my friends/family, have no income, then I will definitely check out as I don’t want to end up on the streets and die by more horrible, slow and painful means.

Ben777 3/17/2019 - 12:19 am

IMO having an “abort mission” button is not a good deal. You gotta be 100% sure, or else don’t even try. Self-preservation instinct is a powerful *****. I failed, but next time, I won’t give myself the chance.

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