F*ck This Life

I been trying to kill myself for awhile now. I have no super lethal means. Yeah I live in America with no guns. Pretty Un-American. If that was case, I would already be dead. Trick to suicide, is forcing yourself into a situation you can’t back out of. But being able to stop to save yourself is comforting, if you want to opt out. But that’s a dream, Death is usually a slow and painful process, disease, hunger, drowning. If you consider takings minutes to die a slow death, which to me, it is. It’s hurt like a b*tch and you’re not even sure if you’re dying. I wish I could just od’d and bam, gone. I’m frustrated not being able to die. I have no money, hardly any family that cares ( well the best type of family, they say they care, but won’t do sh*t to help you) hardly any friends, hardly a life, and I just want to be gone. I been alone a long time. I spent weeks without talking to anyone. I’m truly alone and hardly anyone cares. I have too many problems, so they run away. I don’t have any money, so they run away. Nobody ever hardly visits me. And if they did, it would be for a ride, or they want something. I’m sick of my life. I don’t see a way out. I’m a burden to this damn planet, and I want out.