- I hate this feeling. I want to be relevant somehow. People always come and go. Whenever you become friends with people, they just leave you for good or just ignore you. Fuck everything. I don’t really have a lot of friends and I am very picky when it comes to that. I just hate it when they leave you alone. I feel like an old used toy. I am thinking of self harm just to let them see that I’m not ok. I’m actually putting a lot of subtle clues about this shitty feeling. I want to get into an accident or something so I can feel their concern.
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I used to have behaviors, lots and lots of them, so I could have peoples concern. It is actually easier to have what concern we can have for others. Then they, some of them, start to have concern for us. Then we all feel a little better, not a little worse.