I survived. The iron didn’t kill me, just made me ill. I texted all my friends to let them know I survived to their relief. Everything seemed to be okay afterwards.
Then, there’s today. I mean, yesterday was terrible because my father’s dog is seriously ill and had diarrhea. Since its in the house, it had a lot of crap everywhere that required a lot of cleaning and time. I was also sick after my attempt so that was added to the mess.
But, at least no one was fighting each other.
Today was a nightmare from hell. My father was pissy, I couldn’t stop crying, my mother was getting berated by my father about the dog (he loves the dog more than us but that’s not saying much.) It was a typical day, but for some reason, I couldn’t hold back the waterworks. I sobbed and sobbed like a baby. I wanted to punch something. My father’s made all of our lives a living hell, but when I speak up, I get silenced. Why?
Honestly, I wished the attempt work. I love and will miss my friends but I can’t take it anymore. I’m thinking of running into the woods near my house with my extension cord and hanging from a tree somewhere late at night.
I really want to end it all. I’m ready to die.
3 comments
I always used to imagine doing what you described, something along the lines of running into the forest and hanging myself. I guess it would depend on the size of the forest and it would have to be a fairly large forest. I was thinking about what type of wildlife would shelter in that type of forest or how many people walk or pass through the forest. What would probably happen is this scenario is someone finds the body. It is seemingly an unrealistic suicide scenario. The forest probably turns out to be innapropriate for disappearing depending on the accountability that you will be found alive or dead. If you can face is, there is no really realistic way out. You can’t just die like that.
You tried to overdose on iron pills? I did the same thing. I guess I read you can overdose on magnesium and iron. I must have took 150 magnesium pills and 30 irons, after thinking about and wanting to commit for 10 years, I finally thought I’d try. I never tried anything before because I was very set on gunshot to head. I was very disappointed it didn’t work. No change, just a bowel movement.. not even a little sick.
My heart goes out to you. I hope you find solace somewhere in your life.
– Wolf