I am waiting for my parents to pass away before I do the deed. I do not want them to suffer the death of their child, so I am holding on for a little bit longer. At some point, this has been my reason to live. Am I selfish? Yes. Am I considerate? Yes. I have a sister, who has no idea about any of my plans. Before, I kill myself, I will tell her in advance. I don’t want her to be shocked. Same for my best friend.
3 comments
I’m in the same situation as you, but with two differences. I have a brother instead of a sister. And if I do the deed, he will probably never find out about it, as he’s in a distant country from mine and we don’t talk to each other for years and he stopped visiting years ago. The other difference is the fact that I don’t have a best friend who will grieve because of my death. I’m just waiting for my parents to pass away so I could join them.
I am still very young. I just started college. So maybe in a couple years I will be in the same boat as you. In the future, my sister will have seperated from me and followed her boyfriend. My best friend will have gotten better friends. And if that is the case, then I will feel much more at ease when I do the deed because no one would be left to care for me.
Well I think it’d be very hard on your sister. If your parents are gone and then you go as well, she’ll have nobody and perhaps become suicidal herself. Maybe it’s better to wait at least until she’s married and if she finds a good man who’ll be there for her.
Where would your sister go if she loses 3 members of her family? I get that many of us have had hard lives and if you really don’t want to live any longer I can understand that. But if you are able to keep going then try to leave her in a good situation before you end it.
In my case my dad is fine and he and I aren’t that close. If I ended my life, then no one would help my elderly mother and she’d end up in a terrible place so I couldn’t leave her that way. Once I’ve bought a house and know that she’ll be fine without me, only then would I consider it.
The other option (like you) is that I’ll wait till she passes away first. The rest of my family is doing ok, they’ll be upset by my loss but they’ll be fine eventually. Sometimes I wish I could end my life sooner but I don’t want others to suffer because I wasn’t there to help them out.