March 12th, 2019 by spookichick

i am posting this piece because i am not in a good place right now. i am reflecting upon my past choices, decisions, paths that i have taken, and it’s not pretty. i am fighting to live for my son, which is a good thing. however i am not fighting for me. i realize now that i have made so many poor choices, that knowing what i know about what i have done to myself over the years, i am disappointed. i am sad because i am 53, physically and mentally ill, and i feel like it is too late for me to enjoy the remainder of my life. moreover, i have no-one to blame but myself for the choices that have made. i have learned that the damage that i have done to myself and others is irreparable. what is a world without love?  i will keep fighting every day to stay alive for my son, because he says that he needs me in his life. as for me, i will keep myself alive until i finally die.



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