i am packing up my supplies, writing my notes, booking a cabin in the place where i spent my summers at growing up, and going to end this excruciating pain, once and for all. call me selfish, but i simply won’t live this way so my 23 year old son can tell his friends that i died a natural death.i know he loves me. he knows that i love him. he will be pissed off, but he will survive. i m done with this pain and anguish.