Being Alone

I don’t know you. But I do know the feeling you’re describing. I’ve been told before loneliness is the worst feeling in the world but that’s a lie. The worst feeling is being in a room of people and feeling like none of them know you exist and you could just disappear without anyone noticing. Like you have this black hole deep in your chest and no matter what you do you can’t fill it and it only pulls everything you care about and love into it and destroys it. I’ve made the bad decision though that you’re talking about. I didn’t try for the final sleep, but I tried to talk to someone who didn’t understand. In a way, I think that’s worse. And it’s a horrible feeling when you realize you’ve made that mistake. But you have to keep going. Because chances are good you will find someone else out there that understands. There are seven billion people on the planet; chances are good that there is at least one other person out there who has gone or is going through something very similar or the exact same as you. You just have to hope you’re lucky enough to find them and wait around long enough to give them a chance to find you. So keep hoping and keep waiting. It’s all we can really do for now. But one day we’re the kind of people that change the world.