I had a dream

I know listening out for other people’s dreams is boring but hear me out.

Last night I had the worst night. I stayed up at the veranda for hours contemplating about suicide because I can’t keep up with the people in the house. It’s too suffocating. Everywhere I go there’s just too many life. And I don’t want any life. My mom and I had been in a cold argument and I just can’t stand her seeing me and me seeing her.

I went to bed without eating and turned off my phone and blocked any notifications. Wishing I’ll never wake up. Maybe it’s this feeling that made me dreamed what I dreamt.

I was in this house, a stranger’s house and I was in a queue or something. People, including me, are lined up to the entrance of the house for I don’t know reason. And when it was my turn to enter, I found out why. There was a girl and she was about to commit. And I don’t know why we’re lining up, maybe to say goodbye? Or just to see how pathetic she was for the last time? But I got the chance to talk to her. And she seemed okay. She was smiling and we were holding hands like we’re some old friends meeting again for a long time. And just like any dreams, I cant remember what we talked about but we were laughing. The only thing I remember is her saying “thank you” or probably something like that. And when I was about to go out of the room she took my hand again and said, “I don’t want my last words to be thank you.” I don’t know what I did but the last thing I remember is that I left her in the room, she took a photo and then she killed herself. It was me she last talked to.

When I woke up, I didn’t know what to feel. But now, I’m crying and I’m scared. I know I don’t need to do something but if that was my subconscious telling me something then maybe I should be really afraid. I don’t know, I just don’t know anymore.