All I wanted as a teenager was to kill myself, but I didn’t know how to! Of course the only thing I could think of would be to shoot myself in the head. I was afraid of pain, but I thought even if it really really really hurt to shoot yourself in the head, at least you would die immediately afterwards and then you’d never feel anything again. So I’ve been waiting 13 years to do that (what I just was talking on) as a teenager I had to wait until 18 for it to be legal to buy a gun from Walmart, sportsman warehouse, big 5 sporting goods, Cabella’s, Pawn 1, or even Larry’s Gun Closet. But then the republicans started getting involved more and more. The republicans decided to let them suffer. If they are suicidal then they must be crazy.. if they are going to kill themselves then they might go loco and kill someone else on the way out, so I never got my gun. I haven’t left my bed in 13 years either. Recently the republicans have started to rape me (they have raped me 162 times since November 2015) to support them in the let them breed movement. Hold on – let me make room in the world for your newborn , hand me my gun or we will be overpopulated.
FINALLY last year I’ve thought of another method. (It took me TWELVE YEARS of thinking/trying to kill myself every day to figure out a method other than gunshot to kill myself that I could afford, and find)
I was going to go for it and kill myself 2 years ago but then I choose to stick around. Wow, did things get horrible in those two years. At least 145 of my rapes were in those two years.
Since I’ve had those two last years to be raped, I can say honestly that I’m ready to take my life.
You know why people can’t kill themselves, even when they 100% sure about it? it’s becausse theres a breaking point… no matter what you believe, how much you suffer, how much you drink., how many times you get raped. If you can’t reach that f”cking breaking point, you will not do it. See, I’m 35, been thinkning about killing myselft since 12, only twice in this miserable life hit that breaking point, about 10 years ago. Din’dt succeded and was never able to get to that (low) point again. oNly wishing to die is not enough, but I can just blame myself for it. I live somewhere your president would call “a big, big shithole”, only criminals are ‘allowed’ to handle guns, and it is only getting worse, but I know, there’s no excuses for someone like me being still alive – a spoon should be enough! Meanwhile I’ll keep my hard drinking routine, hopefully cirrhosis will hit me like a train.
Breaking point or not, even if I was having the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, if someone gave me a gun, the only thing I would do is put it to my head and pull the trigger. I wouldn’t hold it and say yay I got a gun. I’d be like “ok now I have to find a spot where my dead body can lie.” Then id find it and shoot myself. It really shouldn’t be difficult but I’m pretty much being held hostage ….. if I wasn’t being held hostage I would have killed myself 7 years ago.
I’m staying with someone they won’t let me move out, they won’t let me leave, if they knew all I’ve ever wanted was to end my life they would call me crazy and put me in a straight jacket just to keep me from getting that.
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All I wanted as a teenager was to kill myself, but I didn’t know how to! Of course the only thing I could think of would be to shoot myself in the head. I was afraid of pain, but I thought even if it really really really hurt to shoot yourself in the head, at least you would die immediately afterwards and then you’d never feel anything again. So I’ve been waiting 13 years to do that (what I just was talking on) as a teenager I had to wait until 18 for it to be legal to buy a gun from Walmart, sportsman warehouse, big 5 sporting goods, Cabella’s, Pawn 1, or even Larry’s Gun Closet. But then the republicans started getting involved more and more. The republicans decided to let them suffer. If they are suicidal then they must be crazy.. if they are going to kill themselves then they might go loco and kill someone else on the way out, so I never got my gun. I haven’t left my bed in 13 years either. Recently the republicans have started to rape me (they have raped me 162 times since November 2015) to support them in the let them breed movement. Hold on – let me make room in the world for your newborn , hand me my gun or we will be overpopulated.
FINALLY last year I’ve thought of another method. (It took me TWELVE YEARS of thinking/trying to kill myself every day to figure out a method other than gunshot to kill myself that I could afford, and find)
I was going to go for it and kill myself 2 years ago but then I choose to stick around. Wow, did things get horrible in those two years. At least 145 of my rapes were in those two years.
Since I’ve had those two last years to be raped, I can say honestly that I’m ready to take my life.
You know why people can’t kill themselves, even when they 100% sure about it? it’s becausse theres a breaking point… no matter what you believe, how much you suffer, how much you drink., how many times you get raped. If you can’t reach that f”cking breaking point, you will not do it. See, I’m 35, been thinkning about killing myselft since 12, only twice in this miserable life hit that breaking point, about 10 years ago. Din’dt succeded and was never able to get to that (low) point again. oNly wishing to die is not enough, but I can just blame myself for it. I live somewhere your president would call “a big, big shithole”, only criminals are ‘allowed’ to handle guns, and it is only getting worse, but I know, there’s no excuses for someone like me being still alive – a spoon should be enough! Meanwhile I’ll keep my hard drinking routine, hopefully cirrhosis will hit me like a train.
Breaking point or not, even if I was having the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, if someone gave me a gun, the only thing I would do is put it to my head and pull the trigger. I wouldn’t hold it and say yay I got a gun. I’d be like “ok now I have to find a spot where my dead body can lie.” Then id find it and shoot myself. It really shouldn’t be difficult but I’m pretty much being held hostage ….. if I wasn’t being held hostage I would have killed myself 7 years ago.
I’m sorry but what do you mean being held hostage?
I’m staying with someone they won’t let me move out, they won’t let me leave, if they knew all I’ve ever wanted was to end my life they would call me crazy and put me in a straight jacket just to keep me from getting that.