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Ring! Ring! Hello! J’S Bar and Grill What the hell do you want?

by rocketman

Is this Rocketman?

Rocketman: “It’s a lady”………. Oh Why yes it is! I just say that in case it’s someone I don’t want to talk too! What can I help you out of?

JEN JEN: It’s JEN JEN!!!!

Rocketman: JEN JEN???????

JEN JEN: Yessssss JEN JEN!!!!

Rocketman: OH  JEN JEN??????? Ofcourse????????? JEN JEN???????

JEN JEN: Remember me? We met at party! TEE HEE!

Rocketman: Party??? Of course! You have long blond hair and blue eye’s!

JEN JEN: Nope! TEE HEE!

Rocketman: Just kidding, You have long brown hair and brown eye’s??????????

JEN JEN: Nope! TEE HEE!

Rocketman: Just kidding again, You have long red hair and blue eye’s?????????

JEN JEN: Nope! TEE HEE!

( ONE HOUR GOES BY )

Rocketman: Just kidding again, AH??? You have SHORT PURPLE  hair and GREEN EYE’S ?????????

JEN JEN: Why yes! You remembered! How sweet! Yeah how could you forget looking way up into my green mascara while kissing me on the veranda! TEE HEE!

Rocketman: I thought I kiss you on the lips???? Anyways how’s it going JEN JEN!

JEN JEN: Well I WAS PERGNANT! and had a baby boy!

Rocketman: PERG GO NANT! Had a baby boy! ah who’s the lucky guy????

JEN JEN:  I was a little drunk that night, that’s why I’m calling around I just wanted to clear the air.

Rocketman: Well what’s the kid like?

JEN JEN: Well he’s very goofy, he never listens! HE TELLS TERRIBLE STORIES! AND HIS EYE’S JUST KEEP ROLLING IN CIRCLES!

Rocketman: OMG! Dammit he’s my kid alright!

JEN JEN: No he isn’t I had a DNA test done on Clarence Walker he’s Walkers kid.

Rocketman: Oh gee! That’s great news! I mean AH that we know who the daddy is! He must be very precious!

JEN JEN: Oh yes he is, well I got to go! I have his harness and leash on him and have to take him for a walk BYE BYE! click!

Rocketman: DNA? DNA? What’s the chances like one in a million? Poor Clarence that kids mine! I’m feeling lucky! I’ll play the lotto! What’s the chances like one in a million! I can win! There is a GOD! 🙂

( Rocketman goes to store to buy lotto tickets )

Clerk: The lotto is up to $26000,000.00!  How many tickets would you like sir?

Rocketman: I ONLY NEED ONE! 🙂

 

 

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6 comments

shatterediris 5/13/2019 - 4:36 pm

When I was very young I was always confused because people kept saying things like “There’s a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of winning the lotto.” and that led to things like this.

Me: “It’s $1 per play right?”
person: “yes.”
Me: “Then why don’t people just buy 1,000,000 tickets so they cover all the number combinations, since the payout is higher than that?”
person: “That wouldn’t work.”
Me: “Well if the chances of winning are 1 in 1,000,000 that would work.”

Later in life I learned that those are not the chances of winning the lotto xD which answered my “Why don’t rich people do that to gain more money?” question. :/

rocketman 5/13/2019 - 4:42 pm

Yeah, also they take a large cut, so even if your chances are 1 in 100,000 you’d get 50,000, also they pay out over like 20 years and make money on interest or you can take the lump sum which is like 2/3 rds. all in all if your lucky it’s a good deal. 🙂

shatterediris 5/13/2019 - 5:21 pm

on 26,000,000 you will always end up with more than 1,000,000 after the stupid government takes what it wants -_-
the 20 year option is the better option, you get more over that 20 years and you can’t really blow it as easily like most people who come into money do.
I would rather not play the lotto just because I have a bit of an issue tossing money away for no reason xD I could have used that dollar and gotten a 440 calorie burrito instead and have my food sorted out for the day ^_^

rocketman 5/13/2019 - 5:28 pm

yeah so many ways to go! What is a real big surprise is a lot of people that won the lottery wind up broke or dead! I HATE TO THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WON! 🙂

shatterediris 5/13/2019 - 5:30 pm

Well…. Everybody ends up dead given enough time. 🙂
but yeah I am aware that it almost always goes badly for people that do win. Either they lose all their money by being stupid and giving large chunks to friends and family, or they do well and hold onto their money like they should but their friends and family all get mad at them and abandon them.

rocketman 5/13/2019 - 5:36 pm

Well…. Everybody ends up dead given enough time. ? HA HA!

What you say is true, I WON 12000.00 ONCE, It was gone in a very short time on booze women and I WASTED THE REST! 🙂

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